QuoraAnswers: Is It Possible For A VerySexually Active Narcissist To Go Into A MonogamousRelationship If He Has E.D.?
As crazy as it sounds, probably not. My former business partner was a covert narcissist, and at 80 years old, complained regularly about having E.D.
He still chased women shamelessly, even though his long-suffering wife was an amazing woman.
Shortly before he died, he made me his power of attorney, and I handled all of his business and personal finances.
No less than five young women contacted me to ask for money. He had been taking care of all their bills, and they weren’t ready for the gravy train to end.
I don’t know how much sex was involved, considering his claims of impotence. But I do know he was still hopelessly addicted to narcissistic supply.
As a matter of fact, he was calling his sources right up until the day he died.
I guess anything is possible, but I certainly wouldn’t bet on a narcissist ever being completely monogamous.
In actuality, a narcissist is cold before, during, and after sleeping with a woman. They just act like they’re not while they’re trying to reel you in.
Once they achieve that goal, they fluctuate between hot and cold to confuse you and keep you guessing.
Narcissists are very skilled actors who can convince you that they’re sincere, loving, and that they feel a strong connection to you.
During sex, they’ll look deeply into your eyes and whisper all the words you want to hear. You’ll believe those words and think the incredible sex is strengthening an amazing bond.
Afterwards, you’re left wondering how someone who showed so much intensity can suddenly become cold and unfeeling. The truth is that they may have showed intensity, but they didn’t feel it.
They were only pretending to be warm and loving. The coldness you witnessed is a more realistic view of his true nature, although even that is just a glimpse.
Until you’ve completely lost your usefulness to him, you won’t see the full picture of what lies beneath the mask. Once that happens, cold will be an understatement.
As an Advocate and Survivor of NarcissisticAbuse, I know firsthandhow badly thejustice system is failing. Afterenduringextremeabuse at the hands of Narcissists, victims seeking help are furthertraumatized by the justice system.
Most victims don’t have the financial resources to get out of their abusive situations. When they seek assistance from those sworn to protect and serve, it’s a devastatingblow to find out there’s no helpavailable.
Sure, there are shelters fortemporaryprotection, but theconditions at thoseplaces are oftensubstandard, at best. Despitephenomenal efforts by survivors and advocates, littleprogress has been made thatactuallyhelps victims.
I have personally contacted organizations on behalf of victims who were in emergency situations. They desperately needed help for themselves and their children.
To my shock and dismay, none of these women actually received assistance fromany of the sources I contacted.Instead, they were forced to stay with their abusers and fend for themselves.
Unfortunately, the extreme abuse they’re enduring will escalate, and their lives remain at risk.
Unlesstheygethelp, the likelihood of escaping their nightmare is slim.Althoughit’s not my intention to diminish the importance of continuing to raise awareness of Narcissistic Abuse, that effortalone is notenough.
As an Advocate, many victims reach out to me for advice. Sometimes, theyjustneedsomeonewhounderstands what they’re going through. Sometimes, they simply don’t know where else to turn.
While I appreciate the responsibility, it’s very frustrating to be unable to find a solution that will lead them to safety.I’m tired of failing them. I’m tired of society failing them.
NarcissisticAbuse has reachedepidemicproportions. Theproblemisn’tlimited to the United States, by any means. It’s an issue in everycountryaround the globe.
So whyaren’t world leadersdoingsomethingabout it?I don’t know the answer to that question. But I do know of onevery progressive leader who has taken the initiative to raise awareness.
Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince, Mohammad bin Salman, has risen to the challenge.
To his credit, he is already helping to Raise Awareness. For several months now, he’s made my blog posts available in his kingdom. He understands the importance of knowledge. Healsounderstands that somethingmore needs to be done to help. PrinceMohammad agrees that victims in life-threatening situations should be the firstpriority.
Workingtogether as globalpartners, Serena Prince-375 Media and the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia want to make a difference. By establishing a fundspecifically for victims in emergency situations, we hope to savelives.
Obviously, we can’t do it alone. We need other people to get involved and turn this into a full-fledged movement. It can be done with enough ambition, corporate sponsors, and individuals who want to make the world a safer place.
Saudi Arabia will match every dollar that is raised.
I’ll be reaching out to businesses, organizations, Influencers, and Advocates to ask for support.I’ll postregularupdates and continue providinginformation in order to get as manypeopleinvolved as possible.
If you’rereading this, we need your help too. Whether it’s donating your time or offeringmonetarysupport, I’m grateful for any and all help.
Why Am I Suddenly Depressed Even Though It’s Been 3 Months Since I Went No Contact From My Narcissist Ex?
Most survivors agree that it takes an average of twelve to eighteen months after the end of a psychopathic, or narcissistic, relationship to begin to feel normal again.
Even then, there will be days when a survivor feels depressed, angry, or sad, without fully understanding why.
There are many reasons why this happens.
A lot depends on the length of the relationship and the degree of abuse the victim suffered.
Another factor is the individual survivor’s commitment to self-healing.
And their desire to thrive, as opposed to merely surviving.
After only three months, you haven’t had enough time to heal properly.
You’re probably still trying to come to terms with the fact that you were with a narcissist.
Now you have to allow your mind, body, and spirit enough time to regenerate.
There’s no way to rush the hard work and gut-wrenching self-reflection required to heal from narcissistic abuse.
And it’s something only you can do.
Therapists, knowledge, and survivors forums will certainly help. Only you can heal yourself from within, though.
I’m not going to kid you, it is tough!!But very much worth the effort.
You’ll have moments when you think you’re completely over your ordeal, only to wake up the next day feeling like a dark cloud has enveloped you.
And deprived you of the light you had only just discovered.
There’s no rhyme or reason.
No right way or wrong way to heal from narcissistic abuse.
It’s something you have to figure out for yourself. As with anything in life, what works for some may not work for others.
I had a meltdown myself last week.
I came across a picture that had been taken a couple of monthsafter a painful and complicated operation to replace three ruptured disks in my neck.
My then-husband, a Malignant Narcissist, had thrown me onto our back deck in a violent rage. The way I landed basically broke my neck in three places.
The surgeon had to make the incision in the front of my neck, leaving an ugly scar, where none had been.
Not to mention the pain and suffering I endured because of what my husband had done.
Seeing that picture sent me into a tailspin of long-held anger and rage.
Hatred and sadness.
It seemed like I was going to explode if I didn’t scream and kick at something.
So I went to the gym and did some kick-boxing.
I beat the crap out of a punching bag, imagining that it was the narcissistic asshole who had caused so much misery in my life.
I released as much of the pent-up anger as possible.Then I took a shower and cried like a baby.
I allowed myself as long as I needed to process my rage.
Which turned out to be a pretty long time.
After getting it out, the burden that had been on my heartwas released.
I came to the realization that one of the reasons it takes so long to heal from narcissistic abuse is because there’s so much to heal from.
When we’re living in hell with the devil, we don’t allow ourselves to process our own emotions.
We’re too concernedwith trying to appease our abuser.
We push back our own anger, pain, sadness, or whatever the emotion happens to be.
We suppress so many emotions, so many times, that we forget about the need to release them.
We do this out of self-preservation.
After all, processing emotions will always seem less important than avoiding a beating.
Or trying to keep our kids from hearing the vile onslaught of angry words and accusations the narcissist projects on us so often.
Suppressing emotions, but never allowing ourselves to process them, will eventually destroy us from within, though.
Sort of like a cancer that can lay dormantfor years.
At some point, the poison begins to spread.
It robs us of joy and happiness, causing crippling depression and anxiety.
For no apparent reason.
Your relationship with the narcissist may seem like only a painful memory from the past when the cancer begins to spread.
Something you survived and thought you’d overcome.
Yet suddenly, you find yourself in self-destruct mode.
Or so painfully depressed you can’t get out of bed.
For this reason, it’s imperativeto face our demons when they rear their ugly heads. When painful memories demand our attention, I think it’s best to give it to them.
Give the pain your undivided attention so you can face it, process it, and then tell it to fuck off.
When another disturbing experience comes to mind, do it again.
Eventually you’ll purge the narcissistic experience and keep it from destroying you.
Not only that, you will be stronger, wiser, and more empathetic than you ever were before.
