Narcissists And Serial Infidelity Go Hand In Hand



Quora Answers: Is It Possible For A Very Sexually Active Narcissist To Go Into A Monogamous Relationship If He Has E.D.?

As crazy as it sounds, probably not. My former business partner was a covert narcissist, and at 80 years old, complained regularly about having E.D.

He still chased women shamelessly, even though his long-suffering wife was an amazing woman.

Shortly before he died, he made me his power of attorney, and I handled all of his business and personal finances.

No less than five young women contacted me to ask for money. He had been taking care of all their bills, and they weren’t ready for the gravy train to end.

I don’t know how much sex was involved, considering his claims of impotence. But I do know he was still hopelessly addicted to narcissistic supply.

As a matter of fact, he was calling his sources right up until the day he died.

I guess anything is possible, but I certainly wouldn’t bet on a narcissist ever being completely monogamous.

They’re just not made that way.


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Quora Answers: Is Some Narcissistic Supply Better Than Others?



Is The Fuel Derived From Married Or Committed Targets More Satisfying To A Narcissist?

Sometimes it is, depending on the situation.

For the most part, a narcissist doesn’t care one way or another about a target’s relationship status. A target is a target, married or not.

However, narcissists love a challenge and love to cause misery for other people.

If a target is in a relationship with a person the narcissist perceives as having wronged them, their satisfaction will be increased considerably.

The thrill of revenge, along with the excitement of the chase, will make the fuel especially rewarding to the narcissist.

With that said, there are single, unattached targets whose fuel is equally satisfying.

For example, a narcissist finally succeeds in conquering a woman who didn’t succumb easily to his charms.

He had to put forth more effort, and for a longer time, than he normally does. Once the target becomes the victim, and at long last, the narcissist gets the much sought-after fuel, it’ll be especially rewarding, as well.

But no matter how satisfying each target’s fuel happens to be, narcissists still quickly become bored.

They will always seek even more narcissistic supply from other sources. Always.



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Quora Answers: The Subtypes Of Narcissists



What Are The Different Types Of NPD?
When I Read About This, It Seems My Ex, Who Was Clinically Diagnosed, Has A Dash Over All Types In The Mix.


People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are distinguished by which type of narcissism they have, based on their actions. Although those with the disorder don’t necessarily fit into just one category, there are three subtypes: Exhibitionist – also referred to as Somatic; Closet – also referred to as Covert; and Toxic – also referred to as Malignant.

Narcissism exists on a spectrum; therefore, each individual’s symptoms will have different levels of severity. Regardless of category, all narcissists have to meet five of these nine criteria to be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

  • A sense of self-importance or grandiose behavior
  • Fantasies about being wealthy, influential, or famous
  • Exaggerating their abilities and accomplishments
  • Craving admiration and praise
  • Preoccupied with beauty, love, power, or success
  • Extreme sense of entitlement
  • Believing themselves to be unique or special
  • Exploiting others
  • Lacking empathy

Exhibitionist Narcissists:

These types always have to be the center of attention. They do not hide their belief that they’re superior to others. Those who are classified as an exhibitionist are the stereotypical grandiose narcissist. Their behaviors are overt, or not hidden.

NPD is a Cluster B Personality Disorder.

They’re bullies who won’t hesitate to yell at waiters and subordinates. Often rude, loud, and obnoxious, they’re easier to recognize than the other types due to their extroverted actions. They’ll never apologize for their behaviors, nor have any remorse for the abuse they inflict on others.


They see nothing wrong with causing pain because they deem everyone as inferior to themselves. They have an inflated sense of entitlement, use others mercilessly to further their own agenda, and completely lack empathy.

They are incapable of loving anyone, including their own children. They’re blatant liars who will deny culpability, even if caught in the act of wrongdoing.

Closet Narcissists:

Closet Narcissists have a completely different persona. They may seem withdrawn or inhibited, often appearing shy and awkward. Unlike the overt, grandiosity of the Exhibitionist, the Closet Narcissist’s behaviors are covert, or hidden.

These types are harder to identify as predators due to their hidden narcissistic behaviors. They are very adept at not showing their true natures, always careful to keep their masks intact. Inside their minds, though, they consider themselves superior and believe others to be beneath them.

Lacking empathy and the ability to form attachments to others, they’re very skilled actors who can easily convince victims that they’re sincere, loving, and kind. They go about sabotaging the lives of others covertly, often being above suspicion due to their outward appearances.

Covert Narcissists are fully capable of physical violence. Maintaining their persona is of utmost importance, which makes them more likely to hire someone else to do their dirty work.


Toxic Narcissists:

Toxic Narcissists are sadistic and horribly cruel, though victims rarely see that side until their lives are already intwined. Their behaviors may be overt, covert, or a combination of both. Prone to violence, they use intimidation techniques to cause fear in their victims.

Like other narcissists, they enjoy creating drama and chaos in the lives of their victims. The Malignant Narcissist takes it up a notch, however. They are the ones most likely to seriously injure or murder their partners.

Sometimes called psychopaths or sociopaths, the Toxic Narcissist is capable of unimaginable acts of cruelty, especially to those closest to him. They’re sexually deviant and do not believe laws apply to them.

Besides having NPD, this type also has at least one additional Cluster B Personality Disorder. They may exhibit symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and/or Histrionic Personality Disorder.


Orcid ID 0000-0003-4028-598X

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Quora Answers: The Argumentative Narcissist


Why Does A Narcissist Always Start Arguments Over Little Things?


Narcissists intentionally start arguments in order to provoke an emotional reaction from you.

When the inevitable boredom sets in, they lure you into circular conversations to entertain themselves.

Picking a fight over something silly or inconsequential is pretty much guaranteed to aggravate you.

Conversations are competitions to narcissists, and they play to win. By constantly changing the rules, they know your irritation will increase significantly.

They create drama and chaos to force you to react emotionally. You try to stay calm, but you’re human.

After a while, you’ll have a normal reaction and snap. Once you’ve lost your patience and show your temper, they’ve won.

Now he’ll calmly tell you, in a condescending voice, that you have anger issues. According to him, you’re the one with the problem.

When normal people get into arguments, they’re attempting to resolve some type of issue or conflict.

Narcissists argue to create even more conflict. They especially love when the conflict is within your own mind.

After the argument, you’ll think about what he said and blame yourself for overreacting. You’ll wonder if you’re the crazy one.

First, the narcissist drained your energy with the relentless tossing of word salad. Now he’s continuing to erode your identity.

Because he was able to make you doubt yourself, another layer of self-esteem has been whittled away.

In the mind of a narcissist, that’s two victories in one. With that level of success, arguing is a game they never get tired of playing.


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Processing Pain Is Necessary In Order To Heal From Narcissistic Abuse


Quora Answers: May I Ask Your Advice? I’m Having A Really Bad Time After Being Discarded By My Narcissist Ex, And I Just Now Realized He’s A Narcissist.


First and foremost, have mercy on yourself.

Understand that you are not to blame for being conned by a narcissist.

So many people who have never been entwined in a narcissist’s web of lies falsely believe that it wouldn’t happen to them.

They are dead wrong. It can happen to anybody.

Prepare yourself mentally for pain.

Think about what you’re going to go through on your path to recovery in the same way you would if you just broke a bone.

You know you are going to face a certain amount of pain.

There’s no way to get around it.

So accept it.

Embrace it, even, as a valuable life lesson. And learn everything you can from it.

Educate yourself on Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome.

Knowledge is power, though it’s not a pain reliever.

In fact, there will be times when the knowledge you’re gaining exacerbates your pain.

Accept the emotional agony so you can process it.

Allow yourself to cry, scream, and rage when you get the urge.

Find a safe place so you can get it all out.

Purging the negativity is essential and you can’t do it if you restrain yourself.

Be open to new coping strategies.

I took up kickboxing and found it to be very helpful in releasing pent-up anger and rage.

I also find music to be therapeutic.

Everyone deals with things differently, so what works for some people won’t necessarily work for others.

But there’s one thing that is true for everyone.

If you don’t allow yourself to feel the pain, the humiliation, the loss, and the grief, you will not be able to heal.

Your spirit and soul are wounded.

Just like with a broken bone, you won’t recover without facing some necessary pain.

Accept that knowledge and give yourself the time and self-care that are necessary for a full recovery.



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Quora Answers: Baffling Facts About Healing From Narcissistic Abuse



Why Am I Suddenly Depressed Even Though It’s Been 3 Months Since I Went No Contact From My Narcissist Ex?


Most survivors agree that it takes an average of twelve to eighteen months after the end of a psychopathic, or narcissistic, relationship to begin to feel normal again.

Even then, there will be days when a survivor feels depressed, angry, or sad, without fully understanding why.

There are many reasons why this happens.

A lot depends on the length of the relationship and the degree of abuse the victim suffered.

Another factor is the individual survivor’s commitment to self-healing.

And their desire to thrive, as opposed to merely surviving.

After only three months, you haven’t had enough time to heal properly.

You’re probably still trying to come to terms with the fact that you were with a narcissist.

Now you have to allow your mind, body, and spirit enough time to regenerate.

There’s no way to rush the hard work and gut-wrenching self-reflection required to heal from narcissistic abuse.

And it’s something only you can do.

Therapists, knowledge, and survivors forums will certainly help.
Only you can heal yourself from within, though.

I’m not going to kid you, it is tough!! But very much worth the effort.

You’ll have moments when you think you’re completely over your ordeal, only to wake up the next day feeling like a dark cloud has enveloped you.

And deprived you of the light you had only just discovered.

There’s no rhyme or reason.

No right way or wrong way to heal from narcissistic abuse.

It’s something you have to figure out for yourself. As with anything in life, what works for some may not work for others.

I had a meltdown myself last week.

I came across a picture that had been taken a couple of months after a painful and complicated operation to replace three ruptured disks in my neck.

My then-husband, a Malignant Narcissist, had thrown me onto our back deck in a violent rage. The way I landed basically broke my neck in three places.

The surgeon had to make the incision in the front of my neck, leaving an ugly scar, where none had been.

Not to mention the pain and suffering I endured because of what my husband had done.

Seeing that picture sent me into a tailspin of long-held anger and rage.

Hatred and sadness.

It seemed like I was going to explode if I didn’t scream and kick at something.

So I went to the gym and did some kick-boxing.

I beat the crap out of a punching bag, imagining that it was the narcissistic asshole who had caused so much misery in my life.

I released as much of the pent-up anger as possible. Then I took a shower and cried like a baby.

I allowed myself as long as I needed to process my rage.

Which turned out to be a pretty long time.

After getting it out, the burden that had been on my heart was released.

I came to the realization that one of the reasons it takes so long to heal from narcissistic abuse is because there’s so much to heal from.

When we’re living in hell with the devil, we don’t allow ourselves to process our own emotions.

We’re too concerned with trying to appease our abuser.

We push back our own anger, pain, sadness, or whatever the emotion happens to be.

We suppress so many emotions, so many times, that we forget about the need to release them.

We do this out of self-preservation.


After all, processing emotions will always seem less important than avoiding a beating.

Or trying to keep our kids from hearing the vile onslaught of angry words and accusations the narcissist projects on us so often.

Suppressing emotions, but never allowing ourselves to process them, will eventually destroy us from within, though.

Sort of like a cancer that can lay dormant for years.

At some point, the poison begins to spread.

It robs us of joy and happiness, causing crippling depression and anxiety.

For no apparent reason.

Your relationship with the narcissist may seem like only a painful memory from the past when the cancer begins to spread.

Something you survived and thought you’d overcome.

Yet suddenly, you find yourself in self-destruct mode.

Or so painfully depressed you can’t get out of bed.

For this reason, it’s imperative to face our demons when they rear their ugly heads. When painful memories demand our attention, I think it’s best to give it to them.

Give the pain your undivided attention so you can face it, process it, and then tell it to fuck off.

When another disturbing experience comes to mind, do it again.

Eventually you’ll purge the narcissistic experience and keep it from destroying you.

Not only that, you will be stronger, wiser, and more empathetic than you ever were before.


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Originally Answered On Quora By Serena Prince. Updated 07/03/2020

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