Quora Answers: The Narcissist’s Wife And Spite


Two Months After Surgery. Notice The Scar On My Neck.


Did You Cheat On Your Narcissist?


Yes, I did.

Before I go any further, let me say that I’m not proud of it.

Not because of anything having to do with him.

But because I believe it’s wrong.

Despite having had an awful marriage, and being divorced, I still believe in the institution of marriage.

I don’t think it’s right to be unfaithful to one’s spouse.

With that said, I’ll tell you why I cheated on him.

I’m not justifying my actions.

But simply telling you my mindset at the time.

For the first fifteen years of my marriage to a Malignant Narcissist, I was completely faithful.

The last three years before I left him were the worst years of my life.

The man I fell in love with no longer existed.

He had been replaced by an abusive monster whose goal in life seemed to be to make me as miserable as possible.

The abuse escalated to a point where I was constantly on High Alert, with good reason.

One morning, without warning, he went into a violent rage.

After dragging me around the house by my hair, he picked me up and threw me onto our back deck.

The way I landed caused three disks in my neck to rupture, essentially breaking my neck in three places.

Because of the location of the injuries, only a neurosurgeon was qualified to do the necessary surgery.

I had to be placed on a waiting list.

It was nine months later before the actual operation took place.

During that time, I was unable to function.

All three disks were pressing on nerves, and as a result, I was constantly in excruciating pain.

By the time I had the surgery, I had built up a lot of anger and resentment towards the narc.

He never once acknowledged any fault for what he did.

He continued to be abusive, despite the fact that I had a broken neck.

I grew to despise him with every fiber in my body.

One day, a couple of months after the surgery, I got a message on Facebook from a guy I went to high school with.

He was living in Atlanta, just a few minutes from where my sister lived.

It just happened to be where my nephew’s wedding was going to be the following month.

Ric and I started talking every day and ended up making plans to see each other when I came to town.

Long story short, we spent two nights together before I went back home.

I never would have even considered doing something like that before the narc so callously threw me outside like trash.

And I didn’t embark on a long drawn-out affair with Ric.

I did it for revenge.

For spite.

As bad as that sounds, it’s the truth.

And that’s why I cheated on my Narcissist husband.


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Originally Answered On Quora.

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Quora Answers: The Slighted Narcissist


What Seemingly Immediately Happened When Due To A Perceived Slight, A Narcissist Became Angry At His Relationship Partner?


What happened to me when my Malignant Narcissist ex-husband felt slighted ranged from total degradation to extreme physical violence.

Whether the perceived slight was misconstrued, or intentional on my part, didn’t matter.

Once he became enraged, all hell generally broke loose.

For me, anyway.

Sometimes he would spit in my face.

Other times, I got dragged around by my hair.

He almost always hit me in the head with his fist.

At one point toward the end of the marriage, he punched me several times a day.

Often for no reason at all.

But he managed to come up with creative reasons for why I needed it.

If, God forbid, I was driving and he felt insulted, he smashed my head against the side window.

Or poured a Coke over my head.

It’s a miracle that I never had a wreck.

Particular when I was driving 70 m.p.h. down the Interstate.

It’s not like he would’ve had a better chance of survival than I had.

But he had no regard for his own safety either.

That’s how irrational he became when he felt insulted.

It happened in a split second.

He could be calm one minute.

And before I could blink an eye, he would turn into a raging monster.


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Quora Answers: Narcissists And Domestic Violence



What Made You Finally Leave The Narcissist?


Like most victims of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse, it took several escape attempts before I finally left my Malignant Narcissist husband for good.

We had been together for 18 years.

And I took my share of abuse throughout those years.

I won’t go into the dynamics of why it took so long for me to leave permanently.

But it definitely wasn’t because I enjoyed being abused.

That is such a horrible thing for a victim to be accused of.

Especially when it’s coming from people she cares about.

As much as I hated the abuse, I had been willing to accept it.

Because I erroneously believed it was the right thing to do for my child.

In hindsight, it was the worst thing.

I thought he needed both parents.

Under normal circumstances, that is the way it should be. But these weren’t normal circumstances.

My now-14-year-old son, who is autistic, had seen his father choke me to the point of passing out.

He had seen his father put a gun to my head and tell me he was going to blow my fucking head off.

He had seen entirely too much violence already.

The straw that broke the camel’s back, though, was when my child witnessed his father crack my skull.

At the time he had just turned 12.

When he saw blood begin to spurt from my head, he stood up to his abusive father in an attempt to protect me.

His father rewarded him by throwing a large speaker at him.

The speaker landed on my son’s foot and basically crushed his big toe.

I had no idea at the time just how bad that injury would turn out to be.

To this day, he still has issues with his toe as a result of his father’s abuse.

Because narcissists are cowards, my husband didn’t stick around and take responsibility for his actions.

Although I pressed charges, and warrants were issued for his arrest, he had fled the area.

It wasn’t until several months later that he was finally taken into custody.

The injury to my head turned out to be pretty bad. Really bad.

The following morning, my head was grotesquely swollen. And most of my face was black and blue.

It took a while, but I eventually recovered. At least physically.

I’m still haunted by the expression on my baby’s face that day.

He tried so hard not to show any fear, and to protect his mom.

He paid dearly for his efforts, though.

That incident is what made me realize that there was no line the narc wouldn’t cross.

And that he could kill our son just as easily as he could kill me.

I had to make sure that never happened.


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Originally Answered On Quora.

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