Quora Answers: Three Narcissists Who Had To Face The Music



Do Narcissists’ Lies And Betrayals Eventually Catch Up To Them? If So, What Happens When That Time Comes?



I know it seems like narcissists get away with their lies and betrayals without ever facing consequences.

And for a long time, they do.

Eventually though, it will catch up to them.

I’ll tell you about the three narcs who were the most destructive to my life.

And where they are now.

I’ll start with my Malignant Narcissist ex-husband.

After spending several months in jail for cracking my skull and injuring our son’s toe, he was homeless and jobless.

His friends refused to help him again, and he now lives in a camper in the woods.

With no utilities.

He also has no vehicle.

The flying monkeys who were always by his side in the past refuse to have anything to do with him.

Because he shit on them too many times.

He does have a girlfriend.

But she’s extremely unattractive.

I don’t mean to sound superficial.

It’s just that he used to brag about all the beautiful women he’d been with throughout his life.

And that he’d never be willing to lower his standards.

The second most destructive narc was my mentor and business partner for years.

He was extremely hard to identify as a narcissist.

His persona was that of a kind, elderly widower.

After years of covertly sabotaging the lives of his family, friends, and employees, he finally got what was coming to him.

At the age of 80, he was diagnosed with Stage-4 cancer.

He was told that nothing could be done to save his life.

And that he should get his affairs in order.

He was admitted to the hospital and died four weeks later.

Alone.

His daughters and the rest of his family refused to go see him.

His employees were glad he was suffering and also stayed away.

He had told me several times that his biggest fear was of dying alone.

After decades of wreaking havoc on people’s lives, that’s exactly what happened to him

The third narc was my first husband.

He ended up going to prison for possession of child pornography.

He lost his life savings and a high-paying job.

He is now a registered sex offender.

I haven’t talked to him in years.

From what I’ve heard, though, he’s one miserable individual.

With no friends.

And very little in the way of worldly possessions.

Granted, all three of these narcissists got away with their lies and betrayals for a long time.

But nothing lasts forever.


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Quora Answers: Coping After Narcissistic Abuse



How Do You Deal With Your Anger And Rage At Your Narcissist Ex For All The Destruction And Heartache He Caused?



With as many creative, and ever-evolving, coping mechanisms as my frustrated brain can come up with.

What works splendidly one day may not do shit the next time I need it. There’s really no way to know in advance what will bring me comfort. And what will just piss me off even more.

Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse is a fickle process. Half the time, when I’m in a pit of despair, I don’t even know why.

I’ll have no clue what caused my sudden by descent into hopelessness. Not understanding why I’m miserable prevents me from knowing how to process my emotions.

Or even what emotions need processing.

If you had asked me this question a month ago, my answer would’ve been different. Because a month ago, I thought I had this shit figured out.

I took pride in offering advice to other survivors. I had learned so much, and come so far, from the broken person I had been.

I was proud of my newfound inner strength. My life was good. And I was content to just be me.

But oh, how far the mighty fall.

In the blink of an eye, and with no warning, I reverted to the broken, scared shell of my previous self.

All the months of hard work to build up my self-respect . . .

All the strides I’d made to be a survivor, instead of a victim, disappeared in an instant.

I found myself broken again, for no apparent reason. And I was powerless to do anything about it.

It was exactly like the first couple of weeks after going No Contact. Like when I went through withdrawal from the trauma bonds. And when I felt paralyzed by the C-PTSD.

The confusion, the doubts, the fears I thought I’d overcome, jumped up and bit me in the ass.

I’d managed to survive it all before. But I didn’t think I could do it again.

I didn’t want to do it again.

For almost two weeks, I couldn’t find the strength or desire to even consider trying. So I dropped out of living for a while.

I did nothing but wallow in self-pity. And wonder how I had ended up back in hell.

Finally the fog began to lift, and I could form rational thoughts. Once I was able to think clearly, I tried to self-reflect.

For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what had happened to cause the breakdown. So I started reading my Quora answers, blog posts, and journals.

It was like someone else had written them. And I was reading it all for the first time.

I re-educated myself on manipulation techniques used by narcissists. Things started to click until the aha moments became overwhelming.

I had almost done it again. Almost fallen into a narcissist’s trap. Again.

Despite knowing better, I’d been ignoring the warning signs. My gut had been trying to tell my heart what my head already knew.

My dad is a Covert Narcissist.

He had been actively trying to suck me back into the chaos and drama he always provides.

With acceptance came anger. New rage mixed with old rage, and I felt like I would explode.

I knew I needed to allow myself to feel the pain, in order to exorcise that particular demon. Only then would I be able to move on.

I did a good bit of crying for a day or so. Then, just as suddenly as the darkness had come over me, it evaporated.

With that episode behind me, I see that I still have a lot of healing to do. But I find comfort in the realization that I can protect myself now.

Because knowledge really is power.



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Quora Answers: Covert Narcissists And Religion



Does A Covert Narcissist Hide Behind Religion? If So, Does He Know What He’s Doing?


A covert narcissist will definitely hide behind religion.

And he definitely knows what he’s doing.

One of the reasons it can be so hard to identify a covert narcissist is because they often portray themselves to be very pious individuals.

They attend church regularly.

Some teach Sunday School. Some are deacons.

They quote Bible verses as well as any preacher. And pretend to be of high moral character.

Then they go home and devalue their spouse and terrorize their children.



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Quora Answers: Covert Narcissists



Will A Covert Narcissist Hide Your Personal Things If Called Out On Their Behavior?



They’ll not only hide your personal things, they’ll destroy them, sell them, or give them to one of their other sources of supply.

In all honesty, you’ll be lucky to ever get anything back if the narcissist has taken it.

You don’t even have to call them out on their behavior for them to take your personal things, most prized possessions, and belongings that hold sentimental value.

If you think back throughout your relationship, you’ll probably recall items disappearing that you thought you misplaced.

Before the realization that you were in a relationship with a narcissist, it wouldn’t have occurred to you that your partner would be the culprit.

When you thought you misplaced your car keys, or your cell phone, you were being treated to one of the narcissist’s games of sabotage.

You just weren’t aware of it yet.

If your narcissist has access to any of your possessions, personal papers, home, vehicle, etc., you’re at risk for losing those things forever.

Almost everything I owned ended up in the hands of my Malignant Narcissist ex-husband.

Even after I had gotten a protective order and he was forbidden from coming to my home, I still lost everything.

He broke in while I was gone and took everything of monetary or sentimental value.

I never got one single thing back.

My advice is to change your locks if you don’t live together.

Install a security system, including cameras.

Always be as vigilant as possible.

Get a safety deposit box for your important papers.

And never underestimate a narcissist’s willingness to rob you of everything you own.


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