Quora Answers: Why Did I Ignore All The Red Flags?



Why Did I Stay Knowing She Was A Narcissist?


Most likely, for the same reason I did.

Because the benefit of being in love was worth the risk that your instincts were wrong.

In the beginning, you had no idea what kind of hell was in store for you.

How could you have known?

Normal people simply don’t think about choosing a victim to fuck over in every possible way.

It would have been inconceivable to you that the person who mirrored your best traits was actually the devil in a red dress.

In hindsight, it’s much easier to recognize the warning signs you ignored.

Even if you suspected she was a Narcissist, you probably wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, especially if you cared deeply for her.

You were in love and warning signs weren’t really proof of anything.

Keep in mind that Narcissists create an attachment with their victims quickly during the lovebombing stage.

For her, it was a manufactured bond.

For you, it was real.

Once you’re emotionally invested in a relationship, it’s extremely hard to walk away.

You probably thought she could change and remained hopeful that things would be okay eventually.

Now you’re aware that Narcissists destroy lives and spirits.

Hopefully, you’ll be better able to acknowledge any warning signs that arise with any new relationship.

Just make sure not to ever ignore your instincts again.

With that said, I should warn you about the possibility of becoming too cautious.

There’s a fine line between wanting to protect your feelings and alienating someone who means you no harm.

After the hell I went through during my marriage to a Malignant Narcissist, I was terrified of getting hurt again.

Now I’m engaged to a wonderful man.

Ironically, I was suspicious of his motives for a long time for that very reason.

He seemed too wonderful, a real-life Prince Charming.

The problem was that I no longer believed in fairy tales, and he was just too good to be true.

Fortunately, he understood my fears.

He knew what I’d been through and was very patient with me.

But in all honesty, I gave him hell.

It’s very hard to open yourself up again after a narcissistic relationship.

Even if you want to trust your partner, seeds of doubt still grow.

You just have to learn to find the right balance between the past and the future.


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Narcissistic Victim Syndrome And CPTSD



Quora Answers: Is There A Formal Test/Assessment Procedure For Narcissistic Victim Syndrome?


When I began to heal after ending my 18-year marriage to a Malignant Narcissist, I sought help from a psychiatrist for my son and myself.

The doctor talked to us at length, both together and separately.

He explained that Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome isn’t recognized as an official diagnosis.

It is, however, a very real condition that is often accompanied by complex PTSD, which is a recognized diagnosis.

I had heard of PTSD, of course, but I knew nothing about CPTSD.

The difference is that PTSD is generally associated with trauma caused by a single event.

Complex PTSD is the result of long-term physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, and involves an additional set of symptoms.

Both my son and I were officially diagnosed with CPTSD, as well as suspected Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome.

The psychiatrist prescribed anti-depressants and continued to see us on a monthly basis.

He also recommended therapy with a counselor specializing in treating Victims of Narcissistic Abuse.

The symptoms of PTSD and CPTSD are listed below.

I found them in an article from Healthline, written by Gary Gilles and Kelly Morrell, and medically reviewed by Dr. Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD, CRNP, ACRN, CPH.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an anxiety disorder with the following symptoms:

  1. Reliving the traumatic experience, including having nightmares and flashbacks.
  2. Avoiding certain situations that serve as reminders of the traumatic event.
  3. Changes in beliefs about other people and yourself, including the inability to trust and feeling that the world is a dangerous place.
  4. Hyperarousal, including difficulty concentrating, insomnia, being easily startled, and feeling jittery or constantly on alert.
  5. Having physical symptoms with no underlying medical cause when reminded of the traumatic event, such as dizziness or nausea.

CPTSD includes the above symptoms, along with the following additional symptoms:

  1. Having uncontrollable feelings, such as pervasive sadness or explosive rage.
  2. A feeling of detachment from your body or emotions, called disassociation, that can include forgetting traumatic events.
  3. Feelings of extreme guilt or shame.
  4. Relationship difficulties, including avoiding people, feeling awkward around others, or quickly jumping into another abusive relationship.
  5. Preoccupation with the abusive relationship, including getting revenge on the abuser.
  6. Loss of religious faith and long-held beliefs, resulting in feelings of despair and hopelessness.

Read about the long-term effects of Narcissistic Abuse.


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Quora Answers: Violence, Drugs, And Narcissists


Is It Normal For Narcissists To Use Drugs & Alcohol? And To Become Violent & Abusive?


It’s relatively common for narcissists to be substance abusers.

Every one I’ve known and/or with whom I had a relationship abused substances on a regular basis.

Sometimes it was drugs. Sometimes it was alcohol.

Lots of times, it was both.

These narcs didn’t just use drugs and alcohol.

They abused drugs and alcohol, to the point of extreme addiction.

It’s also the norm for narcissists to be abusive, although they aren’t all violent.

Covert Narcissists abuse people in ways that aren’t easily identifiable.

Sabotage, smear campaigns, gaslighting, and immoral manipulation techniques are examples of covert abuse.

Malignant Narcissists are well known for being violent and outwardly abusive. That’s not to say they don’t engage in covert abuse, though.

This type of narcissist will abuse in every way possible and are the likeliest to injure or murder their partners.

Any narcissist is capable of being abusive.

What differentiates one from the other is the manner in which they abuse.



Originally Answered On Quora.

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SEO Consultant Momenul Ahmad Joins Serena Prince-375 Media.


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Momenul Ahmad

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Do Narcissists Plan Their Vile Attacks On People?


Yes, they do.

That was one of the hardest things for me to comprehend when I began my journey to healing from Narcissistic Abuse.

I’ve had plenty of experience with Narcissists throughout my life, both Overt & Covert.

And I survived many vile attacks by my Malignant Narcissist ex-husband.

In my opinion, hell yes, they plan the horrible things they do.

That’s what their minds stay focused on.

Who to attack.

How to attack.

What they’ll gain from the attack.

Why they’re entitled to attack.

Then they fine-tune their plans and strike.

Whether or not the victim realizes the extent of the abuse, the narcissist does.

They know exactly what they’re doing because they planned to do it.

All abuse is traumatic.

All narcissists are pieces of shit.

But the absolute most vile attacks on me came from a Malignant Narcissist.

My husband of almost two decades did evil and inhumane things to my son and me.

By far worse than anything I had ever experienced.

Things that, even now, I can’t yet put into words.

And he planned it all.

What is so incomprehensible is that he didn’t just become enraged and hurt me.

Or destroy my most treasured belongings because I got in his face.

It wasn’t just an anger management problem.

Or bipolar disorder.

It wasn’t because he was abused as a child.

It was because he was playing a game with my health and sanity for entertainment.

The son of a bitch planned it all beforehand.

He intentionally cracked my skull.

He deliberately broke my fingers.

He meant to wrap his hands around my neck and try to squeeze the life out of me.

He knew which method of attack he was going to use before an argument had even begun.

He told me several times that he always had a reason for everything he did.

Those were probably the only times he was ever telling the truth.


Originally Answered On Quora. Read All My Answers On Quora

Serena’s Very Helpful Relationship Tip For July 4th

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