Quora Answers: The INFJ Door Slam

Is My INFJ Really Done Or Just Upset? He Broke Up With Me Because I Made Him Feel Distant, But Is Allowing It To Be Open To Change. Could He Just Want Me To Understand The Issue? Or Is This A Door Slam?

It sounds to me like your INFJ wants you to better understand the issue.

Breaking up with you was probably intended to motivate you into correcting the problem.

He’s letting you know this is an ongoing conflict, and it’s a game-changer for him.

Fix it or learn to live without him, because he feels very strongly about it.

INFJ’s don’t just break up with people for the hell of it.

He needed to do something relatively extreme to show you the importance of resolving the problem.

If he didn’t want to work it out, he wouldn’t be open to change.

When I truly door slam someone, I end all forms of communication, and they become nonentities.

It’s not something I do lightly. And it’s pretty much written in stone.

Once I get to that point, I couldn’t change it if I wanted to.

It’s like something inside me has been altered, and I have no control of it.

It just happens, but it’s as final as death.

I don’t know if this is true for your INFJ. It probably is, though, and he’s trying to prevent it.

He cares enough about you to try to stop it beforehand.

If you love him and want to keep him in your life, fix the problem.

Otherwise, you may see a true INFJ door slam.

And there’ll be no question about its authenticity.

Originally Answered On Quora.

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Quora Answers: Narcissists And Supply Sources

How Will A Narcissist Act Around His Former Supply After Being Discarded By His Latest Supply?

A Narcissist has a revolving door in his harem, so sources of supply come and go.

At any time, he’ll have plenty of choices at his disposal. There will always be former, current, and random sources riding the Narcissistic merry-go-round.

For the most part, they won’t know about one another. His behavior around each will depend on who he’s mirroring at the time.

When a narcissist is hoovering a previous source, they generally use the same M.O. every time.

They call, or show up, out of the blue to catch the target off guard. Then a form of renewed love-bombing begins.

“I’ve been missing you lately, and couldn’t stop thinking about you. I see now what I had with you. You’re everything to me.

I must’ve been out of my mind to leave you. You’re so beautiful and smart and sexy.

I had to break up with Jane because she’s not you. Just give me another chance.

I promise I learned my lesson. I realize how much I love you. That’s why I had to come see you.

Plus, Jane is crazy . . . .

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Quora Answers: Narcissists And Revenge

Why Does The Narcissist Want Revenge Thats Never-Ending? Why Can’t They Just Admit Defeat And Move On?

A narcissist won’t admit defeat because then you would be winning.

And you can’t win!! Not in their minds, anyway.

Narcissists have to be right.

For you to win would mean the Narcissist was wrong.

The carefully-crafted facade would crumble.

And all the lies would be exposed for the world to see.

It’s like they’re desperately trying to avoid a Narcissistic Collapse.

Getting revenge, if not completely destroying you, is how they’re able to do it.

That’s why they stop at nothing to assure success.

No deed too evil.

No act too despicable.

No risk too great.

Their false identity depends on it.

Originally Answered On Quora. Read All My Answers On Quora.

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Do Narcissists Plan Their Vile Attacks On People?

Yes, they do.

That was one of the hardest things for me to comprehend when I began my journey to healing from Narcissistic Abuse.

I’ve had plenty of experience with Narcissists throughout my life, both Overt & Covert.

And I survived many vile attacks by my Malignant Narcissist ex-husband.

In my opinion, hell yes, they plan the horrible things they do.

That’s what their minds stay focused on.

Who to attack.

How to attack.

What they’ll gain from the attack.

Why they’re entitled to attack.

Then they fine-tune their plans and strike.

Whether or not the victim realizes the extent of the abuse, the narcissist does.

They know exactly what they’re doing because they planned to do it.

All abuse is traumatic.

All narcissists are pieces of shit.

But the absolute most vile attacks on me came from a Malignant Narcissist.

My husband of almost two decades did evil and inhumane things to my son and me.

By far worse than anything I had ever experienced.

Things that, even now, I can’t yet put into words.

And he planned it all.

What is so incomprehensible is that he didn’t just become enraged and hurt me.

Or destroy my most treasured belongings because I got in his face.

It wasn’t just an anger management problem.

Or bipolar disorder.

It wasn’t because he was abused as a child.

It was because he was playing a game with my health and sanity for entertainment.

The son of a bitch planned it all beforehand.

He intentionally cracked my skull.

He deliberately broke my fingers.

He meant to wrap his hands around my neck and try to squeeze the life out of me.

He knew which method of attack he was going to use before an argument had even begun.

He told me several times that he always had a reason for everything he did.

Those were probably the only times he was ever telling the truth.

Originally Answered On Quora. Read All My Answers On Quora