Category Archives: Narcissists

Quora Answers: Narcissists



Will A Narcissist Ever Change?




I’m assuming the question is referring to the possibility that a narcissist may change for the better.

In my experience, the answer is no.

Narcissists don’t change for the better.

Ever.

I have read that a narcissist can change.

But I’ve never actually seen it happen.

For the sake of accuracy, I should point out that psychologists say a narcissist can change.

Under certain circumstances.

It’s a rare thing, though .

Very rare.

But . . . . . if a narcissist becomes self-aware,

Actively seeks help because he wants to change,

And then spends the rest of his life facilitating the necessary changes,

Then maybe . . . .

But since most narcissists never find any fault within themselves.

Most never seek treatment.

So with very few exceptions, a narcissist does not change for the better.

They do, however, get worse.



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Quora Answers: Narcissists And Jealousy



Do Narcissists Get Jealous Of Others’ Success?



Narcissists are absolutely jealous of others’ success.

That’s why they go to such great lengths to sabotage the lives of anyone they deem to be more successful than themselves.

Whether it’s their spouse, co-worker, friend, or own children, a narcissist despises happiness in others.

They can’t be happy themselves. And they certainly don’t want anyone else to be.

My Malignant Narc ex-husband resented me for my successes and achievements.

And also for any talent or capabilities I had that he didn’t.

He couldn’t stand the fact that I excel at speed-reading. He would literally snatch books from my hands and rip the pages out.

He demanded things from me that were next to impossible to achieve.

And when I somehow managed to beat the odds, he set the bar even higher.

Far from being happy that I accomplished something that had been destined to fail, he hated me for it.

His pathological envy was all-consuming and very toxic.

All narcissists are this way, of course.

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, work with one, or have the misfortune to be the child of a narcissist, I highly recommend never telling them of any successes or accomplishments you may achieve.

It will only fuel the jealous fire that burns in them.

And they will stop at nothing to take it from you.


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Quora Answers: INFJ Problems



What Do You Struggle With Most As An INFJ?


The biggest thing I struggle with as an INFJ is my love/hate relationship with Introverted Intuition.

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate that my intuition gives me insights and knowledge most people can’t imagine.

I’m grateful to be blessed with a unique perspective.

And I’m not trying to look a gift horse in the mouth.

But sometimes, Introverted Intuition can be a double-edged sword.

Here’s an example.

You’ve been friends with a guy since childhood.

You haven’t seen him much over the years. But the friendship remained intact.

After calling you to say he’s in town and wants to catch up, you meet him for coffee.

The first few minutes are great.

You’re enjoying reminiscing about old times.

Then all of a sudden . . . .

It hits you.

That sick feeling in your stomach that tells you something is off.

Something’s not right.

But you’re in a coffee shop with lots of people around.

So you can’t process what you’re feeling.

You don’t know why your friend suddenly repels you. You just know he does.

Suddenly, you just want to get away. Have to get away. Now. You just don’t know why. Yet.

So you get the hell out of there as fast as possible. Because you need to be alone. You need to think.

It dawns on you that your friend is no longer what he appears to be. Although you have no proof of anything.

But you know he has betrayed you in some way already. Or he is planning to betray you.

You make the decision to trust your gut. So you quietly disappear from his life.

You want to be wrong. Oh, how you want to be wrong!!

A couple of weeks later, your phone rings. It’s another friend calling to say she saw your Malignant Narcissist ex-husband recently.

The one who tried to kill you.

He and your former childhood friend were hanging out together.

Turns out your intuition was right after all.



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Quora Answers: Narcissism



How Long Will It Be Before A Narcissist Tries To Get You Back In Their Lives?


There’s no formula that can prove definitively when, or if, a narcissist will try to get someone back in their lives.

Despite not having certain human emotions, narcissists are still human beings. With different preferences and objectives.

People are unpredictable, and every situation is different.

Generally speaking, if a narcissist has discarded you, and believes there is no further financial or monetary gain to be had, it’s quite possible that he’ll never return.

It’s also possible that the narc will get bored with his current sources of supply and revisit you for another dance between the sheets.

But he won’t stay.

Instead of trying to figure out a time frame for the narcissist’s possible return, your efforts would be better spent educating yourself on all the reasons why you shouldn’t give him one more second of your life.

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Quora Answers: Narcissism


Does A Narcissist Purposely Phrase Things Ambiguously To Keep You In The Dark?



Yes, it’s called word salad.

It’s all part of the crazy-making Narcissists heap on their victims. The mind-fuckery.

Narcissists want you to feel crazy so when they discard you, it was all your fault for being a lunatic.

The smear campaign will have already been underway for a while.

They do it because they would rather lie than tell the truth.

Even if the truth would be better for you.

Especially if the truth would be better for you.

All Narcissists are pathological liars.

And your attention is the supply they crave.

Sometimes they choose negative attention.

So they create chaos in your mind for their own enjoyment.

Your reactions are a way for the narcissistic puppet master to pull your strings.

And your emotions are his stage.


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Originally Answered By Serena Prince On Quora.

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Quora Answers: Malignant Narcissist




What Is Going Through The Mind Of A Narcissist When In Full Meltdown Rage?


During my 18-year marriage to a Malignant Narcissist, I was the target of that terrifying rage on more than one occasion.

My ex had what I know now to be Rages-On-Demand when it suited him.

That was scary enough.

But the True Rage?

The rage that makes a narcissist not think about consequences?

That was like facing off with Satan.

What was going through the mind of the narcissist?

I’m going to fucking kill that bitch!!

That stupid cunt thinks it’s okay to disrespect Me!!

Bitch, you better make your peace with God!! Cause you’re going to die today!!

(Holding Large Machete)

See this? This is what I’m going to use to cut your body up with.

After I kill you.

Because I am going to kill you!!

You Dumbfuckingstupidcunt!!

I took care of you!!

I did everything for you!!

I never put my dick in another pussy since we got together!!I

And you’re going to treat me like I’m nobody?

Bitch I’m your daddy!!

I’m your god!!

I own you!! I tell you what to do!!

I control you!!”


Return To Top.

Repeat.

Repeat Again. Until the devil’s anger subsides.

Or he kills you.


Originally Answered By Serena Prince On Quora.

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Quora Answers: Marriage To A Narcissist




What Makes A Narcissist Decide Who To Marry But Still Cheats On The Same Recycled Supply?


Whoever a narcissist can benefit from the most on a long-term basis is the one he’ll choose to marry.

Whether it’s financial gain, social status, or any number of monetary assets, the narcissist’s intent is to make it his own.

Marriage simply makes it easier for him to attain.

I can assure you with almost 100% certainty that he’ll cheat on his spouse too.

Marriage won’t make him change his sex partners.

Or his deviant sexual behavior.

At the beginning of the marriage, he’ll go to great lengths to convince his new wife of his fidelity.

And she’ll believe it too.

She’ll think he’s completely devoted to her and their marriage.

But the whole time he’s continuing to see old flames, and actively searching for new ones to add to his harem.

The narcissist does not love his wife.

Nor does he love any of his recycled supplies.

They all basically serve the same purpose.

To provide narcissistic supply.

The difference in each source is what else they can offer the narcissist.


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Originally Answered By Serena Prince On Quora.

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Quora Answers: No Contact


Is Your Narcissist Still Seeking Your Supply Or Causing You Problems? Was “No ContactEffective In Your Situation?




When I finally escaped from my 18-year marriage to a Malignant Narcissist, there was one strategy written in stone.

I was to have absolutely no contact or communication with him, period.

First and foremost, I had to consider the safety of my son and myself.

My husband was horribly abusive in every possible way. I was under no illusions about his propensity for causing physical injury.

I also knew that I was an emotional wreck at the time, as was my son. And that our emotions would be very raw for a while.

I knew that I would have weak moments and be tempted to call my husband.

I knew that my mind would play tricks on me and try to convince me that things hadn’t been that bad.

I knew these things because I’d been there before.

I had failed to maintain No Contact more than once. And each failure had resulted in the Narc’s escalation of abuse.

I had made several previous attempts to flee the marriage over the years.

I had even managed to maintain No Contact for 11 straight months before.

Since I had pressed charges against him, he was required to wear a GPS device to monitor his whereabouts during that time.

I was almost home-free.

Or so I had believed.

And should have been, but . . .

I fucked up.

To say getting that far had been difficult is an understatement. It was damn-near impossible at times.

And I threw it all away in a moment of weakness.

I called him.

Don’t ask me why.

Because I don’t know.

It was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.

And it almost cost me my life.

The mistake? Besides calling him in the first place?

I believed him when he said he was a changed man. And had learned his lesson.

We reconciled and things were good for a couple of weeks.

Just enough time for me to feel a false sense of security.

That illusion was shattered in an instant.

One day, completely out of nowhere, a blow to my head sent me reeling.

The mask was off again!!

And he made no effort to put it back on.

What followed was my indoctrination into a new level of hell.

One that I hadn’t known existed.

I thought I’d already seen the worst from him.

I was wrong.

He was sadistic and cruel, with his own unique methods of torture.

Finally, after several miserable months, my son and I were able to escape.

With nothing but the clothes on our backs.

Our first stop was the police station to again press charges against my husband.

And also to seek an order of protection.

Although warrants for his arrest were issued and I was granted a restraining order, he was able to evade law enforcement for months.

My son and I moved from hotel to hotel in an effort to keep our whereabouts unknown.

Four months later, we thought it was safe to get a more permanent place.

So we moved into an apartment in a gated community, and prepared to start over.

Although I had maintained No Contact and told no one of our whereabouts, my husband eventually found us.

Fortunately my son and I had a safety plan in place.

While my husband was focused on getting revenge on me, our son was able to get help.

The calvary arrived in the form of several deputies, and the narc was taken into custody.

I used to think the only purpose of “No Contact” was for safety reasons.

But I learned it’s beneficial in other ways too.

Without it, my son and I had no chance of severing the trauma bond we had with the Narc.

By maintaining “No Contact” we slowly began to heal.

To my way of thinking, that definitely qualifies as a success!!


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Originally Answered On Quora By Serena Prince.

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Quora Answers: The Dangers Of A Narcissistic Parent





How Can You Escape A Narcissistic Relationship When You Share A Child?


While it is possible to escape a narcissistic relationship when you share a child, it most definitely is not easy.

I’m speaking from experience. I married two different narcissists, and have a son with each.

I’ll give you some background information first.

Please bear with me because I want you to fully understand why escaping the narcissist is so important for your child’s sake.

My first husband was a Covert Narcissist. When we divorced, a very long and nasty custody battle ensued.

Not because my ex wanted our son. But because he didn’t want me to have him.

And because he knew using our child as a tool to torture me was extremely effective.

Horrible instances of parental alienation by my ex resulted in our child growing up very confused.

The narc consistently violated our custody agreement. The one who suffered most, obviously, was our son.

After several years of nonstop drama and chaos, my ex was convicted of possession of child pornography.

He was sentenced to two years in prison, and I was granted full custody of our son.

He was fourteen at the time. And by then, the damage was done.

I took him to counseling in a vain attempt to undo the damage.

For a while, he seemed to be overcoming his demons, and I was hopeful.

I wish I could say everything turned out okay. But it most definitely did not.

Eventually I was forced to admit that the sweet little boy he had been is now a narcissist himself.


I was with my second husband, a Malignant Narc, for eighteen years.

When our marriage ended, he didn’t fight for custody of our son, who is autistic.

But only because he’s forbidden to have any contact with either of us due to a permanent protective order.

It’s in place because of the extreme abuse he inflicted on us.

Both of my children suffered horribly at the hands of their narcissistic fathers.

It wasn’t until I had the gift of hindsight to fully realize the extent of damage done to their psyches.

Since I don’t know the details of your situation, I can’t offer much advice on exactly how you can escape.

I can only urge you to stop at nothing to ensure a successful escape.

Narcissists are not capable of love or empathy.

Not even for their own children.

But Narcissists are very capable of doing the most despicable things to their children!!

I’m not trying to scare you.

But I wish I had realized the extent of damage each of my exes was doing to my kids.

Find a way to escape.

And be willing to do whatever is necessary to save yourself and your child!!



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Originally Answered On Quora By Serena Prince.

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Quora Answers: Covert Narcissists



Can A Covert Narcissist Have An Extroverted Personality?


Yes, they can.

A narcissist who is considered to be covert is someone whose narcissistic behaviors and tendencies are closeted, or hidden.

This means that they hide their beliefs in their own superiority.

However, in their minds, others are still considered to be beneath them.

They just don’t show it outwardly.

This false persona allows them to engage in covert sabotage, yet generally operate without suspicion.

Narcissism is a personality disorder. Not a personality type.


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Originally Answered On Quora By Serena Prince.

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