Can One Develop NPD Because Of A Spoiled Upbringing? Never Having To Take Responsibility, Never Criticized, Told They Were Special And Better Than Others? Never Challenged Or Disciplined?
Your question describes my ex-husband’s upbringing perfectly, and he’s a Malignant Narcissist.
He managed to acquire NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), as well as Antisocial Personality Disorder.
He wasn’t diagnosed, of course. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with him, and has no need for therapy.
But that doesn’t mean he’s not the poster child for someone who is Personality Disordered.
He’s violent, sadistic, and extremely abusive to all living creatures.
As a child, he was given everything he wanted, had no responsibilities, and was doted on by both sets of grandparents.
His mother bailed him out of whatever trouble he got into, and he never faced consequences for his actions.
He was his mother’s first child and the first grandchild on both sides.
The fact that he was a boy made him perfect in the eyes of his delusional family.
The result of that kind of upbringing?
An abusive Narcissistic monster who believes he’s entitled to do whatever his evil heart desires, whenever he desires it.
Originally Answered On Quora. To Read All My Answers: Serena Prince On Quora
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Might A Narcissist Secretly Inflict Physical Harm On A Victim?
Hell yes, they will. But you’ll probably never be able to prove it.
With that said, I’ll give you a few examples of how my Malignant Narcissist ex-husband secretly inflicted physical harm on me.
He gave me a glass of Kool-Aid laced with enough meth to kill two adult men.
I ended up in Intensive Care, and came very close to dying.
I found out later that he told the doctors I’d intentionally overdosed.
Since I was unconscious at the time, I couldn’t dispute his lies.
When I regained consciousness, I was moved to the psychiatric ward and placed on a 5-day hold.
I had never used meth, and certainly didn’t intentionally overdose.
The doctor didn’t believe me, though.
And I couldn’t give a reasonable explanation as to how meth got in my system.
I wasn’t yet aware that my husband was a Narcissist, and I’d never heard about covert abuse.
Another time, he loosened the lug nuts on my tires, and I narrowly avoided a major car accident.
I wasn’t injured, although that had been his intention.
He left broken glass throughout the house for me to step on.
When I quit walking barefoot, he started putting glass shards under the insoles of my shoes.
He coated the walls with toxic chemicals. Then he ghosted me for two months.
He convinced me to go 4-wheeler riding with him one night.
While we were in the woods, he stopped and got off the bike.
He told me he had to check a deer feeder and would be right back.
It was pitch black, and I couldn’t see anything. Then I heard the roar of two gunshots.
To my horror, a bullet sailed right past my head.
When he came back, he pretended to be shocked that someone was firing a gun at night.
We were on private land. Nobody else was in those woods with us.
As you can see, there are many ways a narcissist can secretly inflict physical harm on a victim.
If you suspect that this is happening to you, trust your gut.
You may not be able to prove it. You might not even be able to explain it.
You just know.
Follow your instincts and get the hell out.
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Originally Answered By Serena Prince On Quora.
Do You Find It Relatively Easy To Spot People With NPD?
I wish I could say I can spot anyone with even a mild case of NPD from a mile away. Too bad it’s not that simple.
For the most part, my intuition is very accurate. And I definitely trust it. My biggest mistakes happened because I ignored my gut.
I have a tendency to be hyper-vigilant at this point, though, and don’t socialize much. I also try to avoid meeting new people.
On the rare occasions I ventured out, I was mistaken a couple of times. I thought people were trying to manipulate me when they were just being nice.
But I’d rather be safe than sorry, and prefer to err on the side of caution.
Unfortunately, I recently failed completely to spot it in someone I allowed to get close to me. And I almost didn’t see it until it was too late.
With all I know about narcissists and their manipulation techniques, I still came close to letting my Narcissistic father fool me again.
I realize now that I was continuing to deny the truth. All things considered, I feel lucky to have recognized it when I did.
Better late than never, I guess.
To answer your question, yes, I do find it relatively easy to spot people with NPD. Unfortunately, I also find it relatively easy not to.
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Why Do Narcissists Call You Crazy & Accuse You Of Being The One Needing Help?
When you start noticing cracks in his mask, a narcissist will call you crazy to try to make you doubt your own intuition.
He wants you to believe you’re the problem, in the hope that you’ll question your own thought processes.
By daring to notice inconsistencies in his stories, you become a threat to his carefully-structured persona.
That makes you an enemy needing to be destroyed.
If he can cause you to self-destruct, all the better.
Narcissists don’t want you to focus on their bad behavior.
So they engage in word salad and circular conversations to keep your mind occupied.
After a seemingly endless talk that resolves nothing, you feel exhausted and confused.
Your head is spinning, and you actually feel somewhat crazy.
But you’re no longer focused on the narc’s misdeeds.
When you think you’ve been given a reprieve and the conversation from hell is finally over, the narc resumes his ranting.
He’ll repeat himself again and again.
As if no words had been spoken at all.
Once you’re sufficiently rattled and finally have an outburst, he’ll calmly point out how crazy you are.
He may suggest that you need hospitalization or Anger Management.
After the mind-fucking circular conversation you were just subjected to, you might even believe him.
Or at the very least, you’ll wonder which of the two of you is craziest.
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Originally Answered On Quora.