I Know How Murder Victims Feel Before They Die

I can still hear the excitement in my husband’s voice, telling me his plans for that day. His gun was holstered on his hip, and he was holding a large machete, hand-crafted for me. Or more specifically, for my death.

“Are you listening to me, bitch? I’m going to kill you today. But I’m not doing it here. You know that field by the lake in Mer Rouge?

A Time To Kill

I’m taking you there, and I’m going to blow your pretty little head off. Then I’m going to cut your body up and feed you to the fish.”

I was on the floor, hands tied behind my back, dazed from a blow to the head. His fist came out of nowhere, knocking me out cold.

Before that, we were getting along fine, and I was struggling to comprehend what was happening.

“Let’s go. I’ve waited a long time for this,” he said, as he snatched me up by the hair. He dragged me through the house, kicking and screaming.

Without the use of my arms, I knew I didn’t stand a chance, but I wasn’t about to make it any easier for him.

Once he got me outside, he forced me into the back seat of my SUV. Then he smashed his fist into my head, and once again, rendered me unconscious.

A Nightmare That Won’t Wake

“Wake up and listen to me, Serena.This truck is mine now, since you’re about to be dead, so I really don’t want to shoot you in here. But I will, if you try to do something stupid.

You better think about Colton. Remember, I’ll be the one taking him to school from now on. You don’t want him seeing your blood and brains splattered everywhere, do you?

So just stay still and be a good girl. Now is probably a good time to start saying your prayers.”

Never in my life had I been so afraid. My teeth chattered, and my body trembled uncontrollably. Paralyzed by fear, I took his advice and began to pray.

A Conversation With Satan

“Hey Serena, do you remember those big turtles I showed you, last time we were at the lake?

I’m feeding you to them. Won’t be anything left, either. Cause if the turtles miss anything, the fish’ll get it.

Do you know what I mean? The turtles and fish are gonna eat you, and I’m gonna eat them. It’s like I’m eating you myself. What do you think about that? It’s funny, isn’t it?”

He said these things as if we were having a casual conversation. His jovial tone made the words even more chilling, and I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

I was devastated for my son, Colton. He’s autistic, and very dependent on me. My death would be so hard for him.

And I thought about my daughter, Savannah, who died at birth. At least I was finally going to meet her. It was ironic that I had to die to get away from the devil.

“Are you scared? You should be. I know I told you to pray, but it won’t do any good.

God’s not listening to you. He already knows you’re going straight to hell. When you get there, tell your momma I said hi.”

That day still haunts me sometimes. What saved my life was his desire not to go to jail for kidnapping and murder. Driving to the lake, he remembered the security cameras I’d gotten installed. 

It had briefly crossed my mind, but I assumed he turned them off before throwing the first punch.Thank God, I was wrong.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

QuoraAnswers: The Nurtured Narcissist

Can One Develop NPD Because Of A Spoiled Upbringing? Never Having To Take Responsibility, Never Criticized, Told They Were Special And Better Than Others? Never Challenged Or Disciplined?

Most definitely.

Your question describes my ex-husband’s upbringing perfectly, and he’s a Malignant Narcissist.

He managed to acquire NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), as well as Antisocial Personality Disorder.

He wasn’t diagnosed, of course. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with him, and has no need for therapy.

But that doesn’t mean he’s not the poster child for someone who is Personality Disordered.

He’s violent, sadistic, and extremely abusive to all living creatures.

As a child, he was given everything he wanted, had no responsibilities, and was doted on by both sets of grandparents.

His mother bailed him out of whatever trouble he got into, and he never faced consequences for his actions.

He was his mother’s first child and the first grandchild on both sides.

The fact that he was a boy made him perfect in the eyes of his delusional family.

The result of that kind of upbringing?

An abusive Narcissistic monster who believes he’s entitled to do whatever his evil heart desires, whenever he desires it.

Originally Answered On Quora. To Read All My Answers: Serena Prince On Quora

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Quora Answers: Narcissists And Covert Abuse

Might A Narcissist Secretly Inflict Physical Harm On A Victim?

Hell yes, they will. But you’ll probably never be able to prove it.

With that said, I’ll give you a few examples of how my Malignant Narcissist ex-husband secretly inflicted physical harm on me.

He gave me a glass of Kool-Aid laced with enough meth to kill two adult men.

I ended up in Intensive Care, and came very close to dying.

I found out later that he told the doctors I’d intentionally overdosed.

Since I was unconscious at the time, I couldn’t dispute his lies.

When I regained consciousness, I was moved to the psychiatric ward and placed on a 5-day hold.

I had never used meth, and certainly didn’t intentionally overdose.

The doctor didn’t believe me, though.

And I couldn’t give a reasonable explanation as to how meth got in my system.

I wasn’t yet aware that my husband was a Narcissist, and I’d never heard about covert abuse.

Another time, he loosened the lug nuts on my tires, and I narrowly avoided a major car accident.

I wasn’t injured, although that had been his intention.

He left broken glass throughout the house for me to step on.

When I quit walking barefoot, he started putting glass shards under the insoles of my shoes.

He coated the walls with toxic chemicals. Then he ghosted me for two months.

He convinced me to go 4-wheeler riding with him one night.

While we were in the woods, he stopped and got off the bike.

He told me he had to check a deer feeder and would be right back.

It was pitch black, and I couldn’t see anything. Then I heard the roar of two gunshots.

To my horror, a bullet sailed right past my head.

When he came back, he pretended to be shocked that someone was firing a gun at night.

We were on private land. Nobody else was in those woods with us.

As you can see, there are many ways a narcissist can secretly inflict physical harm on a victim.

If you suspect that this is happening to you, trust your gut.

You may not be able to prove it. You might not even be able to explain it.

You just know.

Follow your instincts and get the hell out.

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Originally Answered By Serena Prince On Quora.

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Quora Answers: Recognizing Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Do You Find It Relatively Easy To Spot People With NPD?

I wish I could say I can spot anyone with even a mild case of NPD from a mile away. Too bad it’s not that simple.

For the most part, my intuition is very accurate. And I definitely trust it. My biggest mistakes happened because I ignored my gut.

I have a tendency to be hyper-vigilant at this point, though, and don’t socialize much. I also try to avoid meeting new people.

On the rare occasions I ventured out, I was mistaken a couple of times. I thought people were trying to manipulate me when they were just being nice.

But I’d rather be safe than sorry, and prefer to err on the side of caution.

Unfortunately, I recently failed completely to spot it in someone I allowed to get close to me. And I almost didn’t see it until it was too late.

With all I know about narcissists and their manipulation techniques, I still came close to letting my Narcissistic father fool me again.

I realize now that I was continuing to deny the truth. All things considered, I feel lucky to have recognized it when I did.

Better late than never, I guess.

To answer your question, yes, I do find it relatively easy to spot people with NPD. Unfortunately, I also find it relatively easy not to.

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