Why Do Narcissistic Mates Set Out To DestroyHolidays And Birthdays? My BD Is Tomorrow And My Narc Started An Argument Yesterday So He Can Give Me The Silent Treatment On MyBirthday.
It’s a form of covert sabotage.
His goal is to ruin your happiness and keep the attention on himself.
Narcissists are very jealous. For example, you have to attend a work event because you’re getting an award.
The narcissist may hide your car keys, or “accidentally” spill a drink on your thank-you speech.
Anything to wreak havoc on your joy.
If you’re looking forward to seeing your sister at a family reunion, the narcissist may start complaining about her.
Pretty soon he’s being negative toward your entire family.
And you’re now dreading the event.
It’s the same thing with birthdays and holidays.
He doesn’t want you to experience pleasure.
And he doesn’t want you to be the center of attention.
By starting an argument, he creates chaos, which dampens your spirits and saps your energy.
I’ve HadThis Sick Feeling In My Gut That My Covert Narcissist Husband Is Cheating On Me With A Good Friend. Can’t Find Proof. Could My Intuition Be Wrong Because Of The Years Of Emotional Abuse?
I wish I could say you’re just being paranoid and should give him the benefit of the doubt, but that wouldn’t be realistic.
Your gut is telling you what your heart doesn’t want to accept.
The emotional abuse you’ve endured isn’t causing your intuition to be erroneous.
It does appear to be causing you to have cognitive dissonance, though.
Deep down, you know he’s cheating.
Hoping that you’re wrong won’t change the painful truth.
Don’t waste anymore time or energy searching for proof. You won’t find it unless he wants you to know.
Even if you managed to get evidence of an affair, a Narcissist will never admit wrongdoing.
You could catch him in the act and he would swear you’re crazy and paranoid.
Then he’d accuse you of being the one who’s cheating.
I know how bad it hurts because I’ve been exactly where you are.
Believe me when I say to trust your gut.It doesn’tknow how to lie.
My experiences proved covert narcissists to actually be easier to get along with.
At face value, anyway.
Not that an overt narcissist is always harder.
Sometimes they’re downright jovial and funny.
They can appear to be very easy to get along with.
As long as they’re the center of attention.
If you listen to their stories, laugh at their jokes, and remain a captive audience, overt narcissists can seem to be perfectly agreeable and easygoing.
It’s when you get tired of hearing their stories, or grow bored with their jokes, that things change.
When you attempt to remove yourself, they show their true colors.
Suddenly they’re not quite so pleasant.
In most situations, though, a covert narc will try harder to protect his mask.
He may not openly disagree with people.
And is less likely to reveal hostile feelings.
As a result, he may appear to be easier to get along with.
Eventually though, both overt and covert narcissists will prove themselves to be anything but easy.
The terms “covert” and “overt” are describe the type of behavior patterns and narcissistic tendencies that someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) displays to the world.
Covert behaviors mean the affected person hides their narcissistic tendencies.
Their actions are introverted, or closeted.
They actively sabotage the lives of others. But they do it undercover.
This makes it harder to identify whether or not they’re a narcissist.
It also enables them to abuse people indiscriminately.
But generally without ever coming under suspicion.
Like all narcissists, these people believe themselves to be superior and special.
However, their persona, or “mask,” is that of a shy, often meek, introvert.
At the other end of the spectrum is the person with NPD whose behaviors are overt.
They are the typical grandiose narcissist who outwardly abuses others.
They dominate conversations and brag on themselves shamelessly.
They outwardly portray their narcissistic tendencies.
They openly abuse people.
And don’t try to hide the belief that they’re superior to others.
A Malignant Narcissist has a combination of NPD, sadism, aggression, and an additional personality disorder, such as Antisocial Personality Disorder.
At various times, their behaviors may be both covert and overt.
A Malignant Narcissist’s behaviors are often unpredictable and contradictory.