Quora Answers: Narcissists, Holidays, And Covert Sabotage

Why Do Narcissistic Mates Set Out To Destroy Holidays And Birthdays? My BD Is Tomorrow And My Narc Started An Argument Yesterday So He Can Give Me The Silent Treatment On My Birthday.

It’s a form of covert sabotage.

His goal is to ruin your happiness and keep the attention on himself.

Narcissists are very jealous. For example, you have to attend a work event because you’re getting an award.

The narcissist may hide your car keys, or “accidentally” spill a drink on your thank-you speech.

Anything to wreak havoc on your joy.

If you’re looking forward to seeing your sister at a family reunion, the narcissist may start complaining about her.

Pretty soon he’s being negative toward your entire family.

And you’re now dreading the event.

It’s the same thing with birthdays and holidays.

He doesn’t want you to experience pleasure.

And he doesn’t want you to be the center of attention.

By starting an argument, he creates chaos, which dampens your spirits and saps your energy.

Plus, your focus is on him.

And he’s once again the center of attention.

Originally Answered On Quora.

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Quora Answers: Narcissists And Covert Abuse

Might A Narcissist Secretly Inflict Physical Harm On A Victim?

Hell yes, they will. But you’ll probably never be able to prove it.

With that said, I’ll give you a few examples of how my Malignant Narcissist ex-husband secretly inflicted physical harm on me.

He gave me a glass of Kool-Aid laced with enough meth to kill two adult men.

I ended up in Intensive Care, and came very close to dying.

I found out later that he told the doctors I’d intentionally overdosed.

Since I was unconscious at the time, I couldn’t dispute his lies.

When I regained consciousness, I was moved to the psychiatric ward and placed on a 5-day hold.

I had never used meth, and certainly didn’t intentionally overdose.

The doctor didn’t believe me, though.

And I couldn’t give a reasonable explanation as to how meth got in my system.

I wasn’t yet aware that my husband was a Narcissist, and I’d never heard about covert abuse.

Another time, he loosened the lug nuts on my tires, and I narrowly avoided a major car accident.

I wasn’t injured, although that had been his intention.

He left broken glass throughout the house for me to step on.

When I quit walking barefoot, he started putting glass shards under the insoles of my shoes.

He coated the walls with toxic chemicals. Then he ghosted me for two months.

He convinced me to go 4-wheeler riding with him one night.

While we were in the woods, he stopped and got off the bike.

He told me he had to check a deer feeder and would be right back.

It was pitch black, and I couldn’t see anything. Then I heard the roar of two gunshots.

To my horror, a bullet sailed right past my head.

When he came back, he pretended to be shocked that someone was firing a gun at night.

We were on private land. Nobody else was in those woods with us.

As you can see, there are many ways a narcissist can secretly inflict physical harm on a victim.

If you suspect that this is happening to you, trust your gut.

You may not be able to prove it. You might not even be able to explain it.

You just know.

Follow your instincts and get the hell out.

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Originally Answered By Serena Prince On Quora.

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Quora Answers: The Cheating Narcissist

I’ve Had This Sick Feeling In My Gut That My Covert Narcissist Husband Is Cheating On Me With A Good Friend. Can’t Find Proof. Could My Intuition Be Wrong Because Of The Years Of Emotional Abuse?

I wish I could say you’re just being paranoid and should give him the benefit of the doubt, but that wouldn’t be realistic.

Your gut is telling you what your heart doesn’t want to accept.

The emotional abuse you’ve endured isn’t causing your intuition to be erroneous.

It does appear to be causing you to have cognitive dissonance, though.

Deep down, you know he’s cheating.

Hoping that you’re wrong won’t change the painful truth.

Don’t waste anymore time or energy searching for proof. You won’t find it unless he wants you to know.

Even if you managed to get evidence of an affair, a Narcissist will never admit wrongdoing.

You could catch him in the act and he would swear you’re crazy and paranoid.

Then he’d accuse you of being the one who’s cheating.

I know how bad it hurts because I’ve been exactly where you are.

Believe me when I say to trust your gut. It doesn’t know how to lie.

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Quora Answers: Are Overt Narcissists Easier To Get Along With?

My experiences proved covert narcissists to actually be easier to get along with.

At face value, anyway.

Not that an overt narcissist is always harder.

Sometimes they’re downright jovial and funny.

They can appear to be very easy to get along with.

As long as they’re the center of attention.

If you listen to their stories, laugh at their jokes, and remain a captive audience, overt narcissists can seem to be perfectly agreeable and easygoing.

It’s when you get tired of hearing their stories, or grow bored with their jokes, that things change.

When you attempt to remove yourself, they show their true colors.

Suddenly they’re not quite so pleasant.

In most situations, though, a covert narc will try harder to protect his mask.

He may not openly disagree with people.

And is less likely to reveal hostile feelings.

As a result, he may appear to be easier to get along with.

Eventually though, both overt and covert narcissists will prove themselves to be anything but easy.

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Quora Answers: Three Narcissists Who Had To Face The Music

Do Narcissists’ Lies And Betrayals Eventually Catch Up To Them? If So, What Happens When That Time Comes?

I know it seems like narcissists get away with their lies and betrayals without ever facing consequences.

And for a long time, they do.

Eventually though, it will catch up to them.

I’ll tell you about the three narcs who were the most destructive to my life.

And where they are now.

I’ll start with my Malignant Narcissist ex-husband.

After spending several months in jail for cracking my skull and injuring our son’s toe, he was homeless and jobless.

His friends refused to help him again, and he now lives in a camper in the woods.

With no utilities.

He also has no vehicle.

The flying monkeys who were always by his side in the past refuse to have anything to do with him.

Because he shit on them too many times.

He does have a girlfriend.

But she’s extremely unattractive.

I don’t mean to sound superficial.

It’s just that he used to brag about all the beautiful women he’d been with throughout his life.

And that he’d never be willing to lower his standards.

The second most destructive narc was my mentor and business partner for years.

He was extremely hard to identify as a narcissist.

His persona was that of a kind, elderly widower.

After years of covertly sabotaging the lives of his family, friends, and employees, he finally got what was coming to him.

At the age of 80, he was diagnosed with Stage-4 cancer.

He was told that nothing could be done to save his life.

And that he should get his affairs in order.

He was admitted to the hospital and died four weeks later.


His daughters and the rest of his family refused to go see him.

His employees were glad he was suffering and also stayed away.

He had told me several times that his biggest fear was of dying alone.

After decades of wreaking havoc on people’s lives, that’s exactly what happened to him

The third narc was my first husband.

He ended up going to prison for possession of child pornography.

He lost his life savings and a high-paying job.

He is now a registered sex offender.

I haven’t talked to him in years.

From what I’ve heard, though, he’s one miserable individual.

With no friends.

And very little in the way of worldly possessions.

Granted, all three of these narcissists got away with their lies and betrayals for a long time.

But nothing lasts forever.

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Originally Answered On Quora.

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Quora Answers: Explanation Of Covert, Overt, And Malignant Narcissists

Why Not Covert & Overt Narcissists? Why Covert & Malignant Instead? What’s The Difference Between Overt & Malignant?

The terms “covert” and “overt” are describe the type of behavior patterns and narcissistic tendencies that someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) displays to the world.

Covert behaviors mean the affected person hides their narcissistic tendencies.

Their actions are introverted, or closeted.

They actively sabotage the lives of others. But they do it undercover.

This makes it harder to identify whether or not they’re a narcissist.

It also enables them to abuse people indiscriminately.

But generally without ever coming under suspicion.

Like all narcissists, these people believe themselves to be superior and special.

However, their persona, or “mask,” is that of a shy, often meek, introvert.

At the other end of the spectrum is the person with NPD whose behaviors are overt.

They are the typical grandiose narcissist who outwardly abuses others.

They dominate conversations and brag on themselves shamelessly.

They outwardly portray their narcissistic tendencies.

They openly abuse people.

And don’t try to hide the belief that they’re superior to others.

A Malignant Narcissist has a combination of NPD, sadism, aggression, and an additional personality disorder, such as Antisocial Personality Disorder.

At various times, their behaviors may be both covert and overt.

A Malignant Narcissist’s behaviors are often unpredictable and contradictory.

But always dangerous.

I hope this clarifies things for you.

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Originally Answered On Quora.

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