Narcissists And Parental Alienation

Quora Answers: Why Do Narcissists Introduce Your Children To Their New Pursuits So Quickly? What Is The Motivation For Them Behind This?

Narcissists are always motivated to create drama and chaos with the intention of causing you as much misery as possible. How better to do it than through your children?

Ultimately, they want to subject you to the misery of parental alienation. They may tell the kids you don’t love them anymore or that you wish they had never been born.

They’ll tell despicable lies as examples of your bad behavior. They’ll encourage resentment, doubts, and negative thinking in the children’s minds.

Since kids are easily influenced by their parents, they’ll likely believe a good bit of what they’re told. You can be mother/father of the year, but continuously being told by the other parent that you don’t love them will make them wonder who to believe.

If all goes according to plan, the new person will be seen as a type of savior and become a surrogate parent. Introducing them quickly lays the groundwork to ensure success.

This will drive you crazy, of course, and the Narcissist will enjoy it tremendously. Having to share your children with your ex is bad enough. Competing with the new flame for your kids’ affection is like a stake through the heart.

Normal people don’t want children to be put in the middle of adult issues. Unfortunately, narcissistic parents thrive on it.

Never mind the damage it’ll do to your kids. That’s of no concern to a psychopath.

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What’s It Like For An INFJ In A Long-Term Narcissistic Relationship?

It’s an emotional torture chamber that gradually destroys your spirit, erodes your confidence, and undermines all hope of escaping.

In order to survive, you begin playing a mental chess game against the Narcissist who’s holding you captive.

The odds seem stacked against you. After all, you’re a Novice and he’s the Chess Master.

For a long time, he amuses himself by playing a cat-and-mouse game with you. His confidence soars every time he watches you cower in defeat.

But you’re an INFJ.

So you watch him, and you learn to play his evil game.

It’s not what you want to do. It’s what you have to do to ever have a chance at reclaiming your life.

Being an INFJ is a double-edged sword.

You hate yourself for getting trapped by the devil and becoming a victim. You want to know why the man you married became a monster.

You want to know how someone with a lower I.Q. was able to ensnare you and bleed you dry.

You want answers. You need answers.

You have to have answers because your inquisitive mind can’t stand not knowing.

So you waste a lot of time and energy searching for an explanation that you won’t find until after you’ve gotten out of hell.

You no longer allow yourself to feel your own emotions since that’s the equivalent of committing suicide of the soul.

You begin to mirror the narcissist in order to gain entrance into his twisted mind.

It’s a scary, dark place and evil runs rampant there.

You think like he thinks, and you realize something he’s known all along. Something you used to know, without a doubt.

You’re smarter. You’re stronger. You can beat him at his own game.

So that’s what you do.

You plot a strategy that will enable you to escape, and then you execute your plan.

You finally manage to gain the freedom from hell that once seemed impossible.

What you don’t realize is that you’ll be trapped in purgatory for a while as you attempt to rebuild your life.

Escaping from hell was only the first step in what will be a very long journey to happiness and normalcy.

But you’re an INFJ.

So you figure out what you have to do.

You plot a strategy, and then you execute your plan.

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Money: A Narcissist’s True Love

Quora Answers: Did you find that your narcissistic ex was a hoarder of money?

Did you feel like it could never be enough money for them?

Oh yeah, my Malignant Narcissist ex-husband definitely was a hoarder of money.

He stashed his own money, along with as much of mine as he could pilfer.

And no, it was never enough.

He so loved money that he was willing to kill me over it. In an eerily calm voice, he told me as much one morning.

For two of the previous weeks, he’d been demanding almost $20,000 from me. That particular day I was given 24 hours to come up with it.

I’ll never forget the words he used.

“If you don’t have that money for me by tomorrow morning, I’m going to kill you.

You know that, right?”

I had gone to great lengths to meet his demands for money on many occasions.

The amounts were always exorbitant and continued to increase every time.

I owned a successful business back then and made good money. But no amount was ever enough to satisfy his greed.

It didn’t matter what I bought for him or how much cash I forked over. He would just set the bar higher.

I’d tapped every resource at my disposal in a vain attempt to avoid one of his narcissistic rages.

A regular day with a Malignant Narcissist is bad enough. Compared to days when they’re in a rage, it’s a cakewalk.

Those days seemed to last a week. Days when your body, mind, and soul are forced to endure relentless torture.

I was willing to do almost anything to avoid them. But I couldn’t meet his latest demand.

Long before he voiced his intention to kill me, I’d already reached that conclusion. I’d been making excuses for not having the money.

I knew his patience was running out. Still, to hear him say it out loud, to my face . . .

And in such a calm, quiet voice . . .

He left the house shortly afterwards and I wasn’t about to stick around. I grabbed my son and we left town.

Narcissists may not be capable of loving people. But they can damn sure love money.

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Quora Answers: The Malicious Narcissist

What Are Some Of The Most Calculated, Malicious Set-Ups You Endured While With A Narcissist?

There are two especially diabolical set ups that stand out for me.

One was intended to kill me. The other was meant to put me in prison for solicitation of capital murder.

Both were terrifying.

I know now that my ex-husband is a Malignant Narcissist, who was very skilled at gaslighting and mind-fuckery.

Toward the end of our marriage, I just thought he was crazy. I had also started to think my own sanity was questionable.

One morning after a nasty argument, the narc stormed out of the house in anger.

I was relieved that he was gone and began putting clothes in the dryer.

Although I couldn’t put my finger on it, something seemed different about the laundry room.

There was nothing glaringly obvious, but an uncomfortable sense of foreboding came over me.

I looked around the room and noticed small wood particles, dirt, and bits of gravel on the floor.

It wasn’t much, but it hadn’t been there the day before. I decided to forget about it and went back to doing the laundry.

As I pulled the lint filter from the dryer, I was shocked to find it stuffed full of lint, gravel, dirt, and paper.

I looked behind the dryer and almost came unglued.

The part of the wall where the dryer connection had been was now solid wall.

No plug. No vent hose. Just a solid wall.

About that time, I heard my son yelling from the kitchen.

He had accidentally bumped into the wall with the pantry door, causing a gaping hole.

Dust and sheet rock were crumbling out of the hole in the wall, making a huge mess.

Upon further inspection, we saw that the hole was more like a tunnel.

Inside was vent tubing from the dryer and an electrical socket.

A long extension cord was plugged into it.

The sudden realization that my husband was trying to cause a fire was like a slap in the face.

My son and I looked around the house for other changes, and our shock intensified.

The doors had been nailed shut and would’ve been impossible to open in the event of a fire.

The only exception was the door in the laundry room.

It wasn’t nailed shut, but my key no longer fit the bolt lock.

I didn’t need to see anything else.

Calling the police would have been pointless. I’d tried that before and had been accused of being on drugs.

I gathered up a few things and my son and I went to a hotel.

The next day I had an electrician meet me at my house.

When we went inside, everything had been returned to normal.

The potential prison sentence was the result of the narc and a flying monkey filing a police report alleging that I was looking for a hit man.

They claimed I’d offered to pay the flying monkey to kill my husband.

Unknown to me at the time, the sheriff’s office began an investigation to substantiate the allegations.

After a thorough investigation, the detectives concluded that it was actually my husband who was trying to have me killed.

For reasons I don’t understand, no charges were filed against him.

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Narcissistic Victim Syndrome And CPTSD

Quora Answers: Is There A Formal Test/Assessment Procedure For Narcissistic Victim Syndrome?

When I began to heal after ending my 18-year marriage to a Malignant Narcissist, I sought help from a psychiatrist for my son and myself.

The doctor talked to us at length, both together and separately.

He explained that Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome isn’t recognized as an official diagnosis.

It is, however, a very real condition that is often accompanied by complex PTSD, which is a recognized diagnosis.

I had heard of PTSD, of course, but I knew nothing about CPTSD.

The difference is that PTSD is generally associated with trauma caused by a single event.

Complex PTSD is the result of long-term physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, and involves an additional set of symptoms.

Both my son and I were officially diagnosed with CPTSD, as well as suspected Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome.

The psychiatrist prescribed anti-depressants and continued to see us on a monthly basis.

He also recommended therapy with a counselor specializing in treating Victims of Narcissistic Abuse.

The symptoms of PTSD and CPTSD are listed below.

I found them in an article from Healthline, written by Gary Gilles and Kelly Morrell, and medically reviewed by Dr. Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD, CRNP, ACRN, CPH.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an anxiety disorder with the following symptoms:

  1. Reliving the traumatic experience, including having nightmares and flashbacks.
  2. Avoiding certain situations that serve as reminders of the traumatic event.
  3. Changes in beliefs about other people and yourself, including the inability to trust and feeling that the world is a dangerous place.
  4. Hyperarousal, including difficulty concentrating, insomnia, being easily startled, and feeling jittery or constantly on alert.
  5. Having physical symptoms with no underlying medical cause when reminded of the traumatic event, such as dizziness or nausea.

CPTSD includes the above symptoms, along with the following additional symptoms:

  1. Having uncontrollable feelings, such as pervasive sadness or explosive rage.
  2. A feeling of detachment from your body or emotions, called disassociation, that can include forgetting traumatic events.
  3. Feelings of extreme guilt or shame.
  4. Relationship difficulties, including avoiding people, feeling awkward around others, or quickly jumping into another abusive relationship.
  5. Preoccupation with the abusive relationship, including getting revenge on the abuser.
  6. Loss of religious faith and long-held beliefs, resulting in feelings of despair and hopelessness.

Read about the long-term effects of Narcissistic Abuse.

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Quora Answers: What Are The Long-Term Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse?

Long-term exposure to Narcissistic Abuse can wreak havoc on victims long after leaving their abusers.

Along with the devastating effects of PTSD and C-PTSD, survivors are left with permanent changes to their brains.

In other words, repeated emotional trauma, over time, causes brain damage.

It shrinks the hippocampus and enlarges the amygdala.

The hippocampus is the part of your brain in charge of memory and learning.

The amygdala controls emotions like love, hate, fear, grief, guilt, shame, and envy.

It’s also responsible for heart rate, breathing, and the fight-or-flight mechanism.

Living in a constant state of fear causes the brain to produce more of a hormone called cortisol.

The hippocampus becomes impaired, while the amygdala is stimulated.

This results in victims focusing more on the negative emotions that they’re feeling.

At the same time, their ability to absorb new information is restricted.

Years after a toxic relationship has ended, painful memories can be triggered by subliminal hints, such as smells, sounds, and pictures.

Because the amygdala remembers the stressful events, victims are subjected to an unwanted walk down memory lane.

Changes in personality are another effect of Narcissistic Abuse.

Victims are left with eroded self-esteem, a lack of self-confidence, and an inability to make sound decisions.

Self-doubt and self-recriminations become a way of life, and inner joy and peace remain elusive.

It would be difficult to list all of the long-term effects of Narcissistic Abuse.

Some things just cannot be explained with words.

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