In celebration of the upcoming Halloween release of Erma Bombeck: My Magnificent Memoir, Erma created a video of memories for her many fans.
In her new book, the stylish mannequin details her life before and after becoming a famous superstar.
For those of you who have been sleeping under a rock, Erma got her start as a model and assistant for Poshmark Ambassador, Serena Prince.
A transforming makeover changed her life forever, and an ugly duckling became a beautiful swan.
Ermaās Instagram photos and delightfully funny posts made her an instant celebrity. What followed was a fast track to superstardom.
Ermaās memoir really is magnificent. She speaks openly about her past as a hooker, her shocking kidnapping, and her life as the most famous mannequin alive.
Ghostwritten by Serena Prince, Ermaās Magnificent Memoir will be released on Halloween.
Until the bookās release, Erma gave her adoring fans (which includes this writer) a tantalizing video to whet our appetite.
On behalf of everyone on the planet, I say thank you to this magnificent mannequin.
My good friend, Lee Miller, is a fellow Quora Author and Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse who has written a book that every victim needs to read.
Thereās no part about Dating Harley Quinn that I donāt recommend.
After finding himself on the brink of suicide following his relationship with a female narcissist, Lee managed to claw his way back from hell.
His wisdom and insights are priceless for those in similar situations.
I know.
Iām speaking from firsthand experience.
On many occasions, Lee guided me back from the depths of despair when I was lost with no direction.
I can never thank him enough for his compassion, wisdom, and encouragement.
Raising Awareness and Understanding of Narcissistic Abuse is absolutely necessary. Itās such a hard concept for people to grasp if they havenāt experienced it themselves.
It takes true stories, told by survivors like Lee, to explain the horrible realities that Narcissists create for their victims.
I highly recommend Leeās books and other work to victims, advocates, mental health professionals, the legal profession, and anybody wanting to learn more about Narcissistic Abuse.
I sent my book to Readers Favorite last week and asked for a review. Since they receive so many requests, I wasnāt sure if it would even be picked.
They specifically tell you that not every book gets reviewed. Those that do sometimes have to wait three months.
Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to a message saying my review was complete.
Naturally, I had to post it here (and every other place I could think of). šš
Iām also excited to announce new locations where my book is available.
Aside from Amazon and Apple Books, itās now for sale at Barnes & Noble, Kobo Rakuten, Books2Read, and several other great places.
I still need more reviews, obviously. If any bloggers, authors, or Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse are interested, let me know.
Iāll send a you a free copy, and I wonāt get mad if you donāt like the book. (Okay, thatās not entirely true. šš)
Contact me at: circusworthy@serenaprince375.com
Ok, now without further ado, hereās the review:
Book review of What You Need To Know About Narcissists – Readers’ Favorite: Book Reviews and Award Contest
What You Need To Know About Narcissists: Why Cartwheels In Bed And Circusworthy Stunts Won’t Matter by Serena Prince gives good insights into Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Abuse.
She speaks about her life with a husband who was a Malignant Narcissist and how she ended up being a magnet for narcissists. Her decision to make changes in her life took her and her son, Colton to a psychiatrist and she gives glimpses about how they started rebuilding their broken lives.
Narcissistic Abuse is a global epidemic now and the book is a compilation of the author’s Quora answers to the questions asked about narcissists and their toxic relationships.
Serena Prince speaks about her personal life in the book with honesty and her experience of living with a narcissist for eighteen years is relatable to many readers who are living in toxic relationships and do not know how to overcome Narcissistic Abuse.
The book will help readers recognize narcissistic traits and make them look into the relationships they have so they can address the problem instead of continuing to suffer.
Readers can follow Serena Prince on Instagram and Twitter and her hashtag #circusworthystunts is quite popular on those social platforms.
What You Need To Know About Narcissists is a good book to understand narcissistic traits and tendencies and learn to tackle it better if any readers are dealing with this on a personal level and are finding it hard to move on with negativity in their lives. ā Read on readersfavorite.com/book-review/what-you-need-to-know-about-narcissists
Why Cartwheels In Bed & Circusworthy Stunts Wonāt Matter
Serena Prince
Published By Serena Prince-375 Media
U. S. A.
February 28, 2020
For Mohammad
You taught me what true love is all about.
I will forever be yours.
Because of you, I now know what itās like
to be treated like a queen.I love you.
āIt wonāt matter if you turned cartwheels in bed for him and performed circus-worthy stuntsā
Serena Prince
Preface
The last time my husband of 18 years tried to kill me, he almost succeeded. I knew if I didnāt get out, I may not be so lucky the next time. And there would definitely be a next time.
When the opportunity presented itself, my son and I made our escape. We left with nothing but the clothes on our backs and ran like hell.
For almost four months, we moved from hotel to hotel, never staying in one place for more than 3 days at a time. Although I had pressed charges, my husband went on the run before he could be arrested.
I knew he would still be looking for me. And that he wouldnāt give up until he found me. He wasnāt finished destroying me.
Colton and I lived in constant fear. Because his principal knew about our situation, she agreed it was too risky for him to attend school. So we stayed as isolated as possible from the outside world. And prayed the police would find my husband before he found us.
During that time, I began searching for answers. I wanted an explanation for what had happened to my life. There had to be a reason the man I married had turned into a monster.
I discovered Quora and began to learn about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Abuse. For months, I educated myself by reading Quora Answers and countless books about Narcissists. I devoured all the information I could get my hands on.
Then I read it all again.
I finally began to understand why my life had become a living hell. My husband was a Malignant Narcissist. He hadnāt turned into a monster. Heād been one all along. He was just pretending to be human.
I also came to the realization that Iād been in nothing but toxic relationships my entire life. For some reason, I was a magnet for narcissistic people. That would have to change.
I began focusing on healing from within, which was a totally foreign concept for me, but I knew it had to be done. Colton and I went to a psychiatrist and were diagnosed with Narcissistic Victim Syndrome and C-PTSD (Complex- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
To say it was hard to heal is an understatement, but we gradually began rebuilding our shattered lives. We moved to an apartment in a gated community, and told no one where we lived.
Eventually, I started answering questions on Quora. After all those months of research and all the years of enduring Narcissistic Abuse, I felt uniquely qualified. I began communicating with other Survivors all around the world and became an Advocate for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse.
I started my own blog and wrote about my experiences. I also joined Instagram and started posting daily. From the depths of despair, a new career was borne.
Narcissistic Abuse has become a global epidemic. Every country in the world is affected by it. Unfortunately, there arenāt enough qualified mental health professionals trained to help the vast number of victims.
The need for answers and awareness grows daily. I believe knowledge is power. If you donāt know what youāre dealing with, you canāt protect yourself from Narcissists.
I survived 18 years of marriage to an abusive, sadistic Malignant Narcissist and learned some very painful lessons. With the knowledge Iāve gained, itās my hope to educate people about the true motives of Narcissists.
The answers I write on Quora are based on my own experiences and extensive research. Theyāre pretty straightforward, and arenāt meant to cause anyone more pain. But sometimes the truth is harsh. However, it would serve no purpose to mince words.
This book is a compilation of some of my Quora answers to questions about Narcissists. They were asked by real people, in real situations. People who were desperately seeking answers.
Whether youāre beginning to learn about Narcissism, or just need a reminder of why you should maintain No Contact, I hope youāll find these answers helpful.
Acknowledgements
This book never would have been possible if not for Quora, and the wonderful people who continue to provide the best question-and-answer platform on the Internet.
Before I ever considered the possibility of one day being a Quora Author myself, I was lost with no direction. When I discovered Quora, I found a source for the knowledge I needed. The answers Iād searched for were finally at my fingertips.
The stories of other Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse, and the compassionate Quorans who wrote them, helped to restore my sanity. For that, I will always be grateful.
To the House Of Saud and the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, Mohammad bin Salman, thank you for helping to Raise Awareness of Narcissistic Abuse.
To my crazy swanky friend, Sailor Holiday, this book probably would have never gotten started, if not for your encouragement and enthusiasm. You were there from the beginning, and you will be there always. I love and appreciate you.
Oh yeah, Erma sends her regards to Bunny and Fifi.
To my dear friend in South Africa, Tegwyn Fietze, thank you for your encouragement and support, and for being such a wonderful friend. Xoxo
To my son, Colton, we’ve been through so much together. We’re survivors, you and I. Thank you for your patience, love, and support. I love you with all my heart.
Introduction
Long before I knew about Narcissists and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I was aware that I was living with someone with a very serious problem.
It had become my very serious problem. Because the person I lived with was my husband. And because it was causing dire consequences for me. For my physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. For my self-esteem. For my very identity.
He had become extremely abusive in every way, and controlled every aspect of my life. What I did. Where I went. What clothes I wore. Everything. Including my thoughts.
It had gotten to a point that I did nothing without first considering what his reaction would be. If I wanted to go see my family, I thought about how he would react. If there was any possibility of angering him, I chose not to see my family.
As crazy as it sounds, seeing them wasnāt worth the risk of angering my husband. Too many times, Iād seen his anger. Too many times, Iād been the target of his rage, and the results were always bad. For me, at any rate.
Several times over the years, I tried to get out of the marriage. Iād either leave or kick him out. Then Iād file for divorce and attempt to rebuild my life.
Each time, heād come to me with declarations of love and promises to change. I would once again see the man I had married, the charming man I fell in love with.
The monster never made appearances during the hoover attempts, and the man I married could always convince me to give him another chance.
What can I say? I didnāt know he was wearing a mask every time. Plus we had a child, an autistic son. I mistakenly believed he needed his father.
So we would reconcile and things would be better for a while. But they always ended up getting worse. Much worse. Over time, this pattern of separating and reconciling became all too familiar.
It was taking its toll on both my child and me. I had become a shell of my former self. Someone who was alive, but who wasn’t living. Colton lived in constant fear of what his father would do to me next. He had seen things no child should see.
So why didn’t I just leave? If things had deteriorated that much, why was I still with him? Why did I stay with someone who abused me and terrorized our child?
The answers to those questions can be found in this book. For a long time, I didn’t understand it myself. Once I learned about Narcissistic Abuse and psychopathy, I finally understood what had happened to me. And why.
Surviving Narcissistic Abuse is the most difficult thing Iāve ever faced. And I don’t say that lightly. Iāve lost a child, a parent, and endured many extreme hardships in my life. As painful as those things were, they were still not as difficult to overcome as Narcissistic Abuse.
To be clear, I didn’t marry a monster. When we met, he was funny, sweet, and charming. A breath of fresh air for me at the time.
Iād just gone through a very ugly divorce, and was still in the midst of a bitter custody fight. I needed a friend. And he became exactly what I needed. The balm for my wounded soul.
Back then, I wasnāt aware that Iād just divorced a Covert Narcissist. I had no way of knowing I was going from bad to worse. But thatās exactly what I did. I traded up to what I now know to be a Malignant Narcissist.
I thought my previous marriage had been hell. Little did I know there are various levels of hell. And that I was going to be taken to each and every level.
Why Can’t You Ever Win An Argument With A Narcissist?
When normal people get into arguments, theyāre attempting to resolve some type of issue or conflict. Narcissists argue to create even more conflict.
When the inevitable boredom that constantly plagues a narcissist sets in, they lure you into circular conversations to entertain themselves. Just like everything else, conversations are competitions to a narcissist.
Their strategy is to constantly change the rules to cause you to become unhinged. The goal is to make you so frustrated that you eventually lash out. Once youāve lost your patience and show your temper, theyāve won the game.
This was their intention all along: to create enough drama and chaos that youāre forced to react. You become so unsettled that you have a normal human reaction. However, youāll be accused of being difficult and having anger issues.
Later, youāll rehash the conversation in your mind and feel bad for overreacting. By questioning your own good nature, the narcissist has made you wonder if youāre the crazy one.
Youāll ask yourself why you’re overly sensitive, and what’s made you so paranoid. Thus, one more layer of your self-esteem has been whittled away.
Not only did the narcissist drain your energy with the relentless tossing of word salad, now heās continuing to erode your identity by causing you to doubt yourself.
Another victory for the narcissist.
When A Narcissist Slanders Someone, Is It Because Of Envy?
A Narcissist begins whatās known as a smear campaign long before the victim becomes aware of it. Itās for future damage control – a way for him to control the amount of damage he’s able to inflict.
Granted, a narcissist will slander anyone, and envy, of normal people with normal emotions, is something that lives within a narcissist. However, itās mostly subconscious, and it’s not the reason for the smear campaign.
In a relationship with a narcissist, there are three stages: Idealization, Devaluation, and Discard.
The smear campaign, unbeknownst to the victim, actually begins during Idealization. The narcissist is setting a trap for the ending of the relationship.
Heāll use it to cause even more damage to the victim during the Discard stage. It will also be a tool for when heās grooming his next target.
In the beginning of a narcissistic relationship, you are happy. You tell everyone how wonderful he is. You brag about his greatness to your family and friends. He treats you like a queen, and everything is fabulous.
When the inevitable devaluation begins, you desperately try to bring back the glory of the early days. You believe if you try hard enough, you can restore the bliss.
You donāt tell anybody that Mr. Wonderful has been treating you like shit. You donāt yet know the relationship is going to end. Naturally, you donāt want people thinking bad about the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with.
You suffer in silence. You don’t tell anybody about the mind games and his frequent, unexplained absences. You never mention the devastating triangulation to anyone.
When it gets to be overwhelming, you finally react. You send angry text messages, demanding answers. You complain about the horrible way heās treating you.
When he doesnāt respond, you send more messages, even angrier this time. Later, he uses those messages to prove to people that youāre unstable and jealous.
You become the crazy ex to his latest target, the one heās grooming as your replacement. Although heās still living with you, she doesnāt know that.
When the narcissist does discard you, no one blames him. He’s already shown people that youāre crazy and difficult, using your own words.
Now youāre alone, heartbroken, and miserable. You desperately need to talk to someone about what you’ve been through, so you reach out.
Youāre stunned when you tell people about the way he really treated you, and nobody believes you. That’s because you unwittingly fell into his trap.
Now he can happily flaunt his new girlfriend, and you look like a bitter woman scorned. People see you as being vindictive.
They think you’re just starting negative rumors about him because you can’t take rejection. After all, youāre the one who told everyone for months how great he was.
How Do Narcissists Discard Their Partners?
In a way that is sure to inflict maximum damage. Let me offer a scenario:
Things have been going surprisingly well between you and the Narcissist lately. You spent all afternoon in bed together. He was constantly telling you how much he loves you, and reminding you why you fell in love with him to begin with.
Not only that. It was almost like it used to be. He made you feel his love by looking deeply into your eyes and kissing you softly.
You didnāt just have sex. You made beautiful, sweet love, and it was absolutely wonderful. Youāre so happy that you canāt stop smiling.
You keep looking at him. Touching him. Adoring him. Loving him so much.
Then you sense him staring at you. You look over at him, and see a very odd expression on his face. Heās got a maniacal look in his eyes. And the creepiest smile youāve ever seen.
Chills run through your body. You barely recognize the man beside you.
When he offers to go pick up something to eat, you quickly agree. Because now, you really need a few minutes to yourself.
Before he leaves, he hugs you for a long moment and things feel okay again. You tell yourself that your imagination has run amok.
So you relax a bit. You even start to feel guilty for doubting him. You relive the magic in your mind while you wait for him to return, lazily drifting off to sleep.
When you wake up, youāre shocked to realize youād been asleep for three hours. You search the house, but he is nowhere to be found. You look outside. His car isnāt in the driveway.
Where was he? He never made it back!
In a near-panic, you grab your phone and call him. No answer. You text him and pray for a quick response.
But you donāt get a quick response. You donāt get any response.
You continue to call his phone throughout the night, to no avail. You start calling everybody who might have any idea of where he is. Nobody answers your calls. Nobody responds to your texts.
At first, youāre in shock. You donāt know what to think. On one hand, you feel like youāll die if you donāt find out something. On the other, youāre scared to find out.
What if he was in a car wreck? So you call the hospitals to see if heās been admitted. Nothing. You start to think about the times he would disappear after a fight.
And when he said he would be home from hunting after daylight. But it was after daylight two days later before he actually showed up.
Memories come flooding back. So many times you knew he was lying, and you let him get away with it. A sick feeling floods through you.
The truth starts to painfully reveal itself. Heās not coming back!!
And he doesnāt. He seems to have disappeared from the face of the earth. You never get a single message from him. Not one phone call.
Then a few days later, the phone finally rings. But itās not him. Itās a Flying Monkey. He tells you he saw a picture of the narc and another woman on Facebook. They were announcing their new relationship.
Maximum amount of damage inflicted.
Are Many Victims Of Narcissistic Abuse Ahead Of Psychologists In Knowledge Of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Absolutely. Unfortunately, in order to fully understand narcissistic abuse, a person has to first experience it.
Understanding the concept on an intellectual level is one thing. In my opinion, itās akin to dropping out of high school in the 11th grade. You learned a lot, and you have pretty basic knowledge, but your education is still incomplete.
When I first sought help to heal after being diagnosed with Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome and Complex-PTSD, I was shocked to discover the lack of qualified mental health professionals.
Plenty of people claimed to be qualified. But to be perfectly honest, they were freaking clueless. Hell, I knew far more about the subject than the so-called experts I encountered.
I got the impression that their education had been limited to reading a few articles about NPD from a psychology journal and nothing more. Sadly, every counselor I went to had no more knowledge about narcissistic abuse than my dog. And she died last year.
Iām not trying to make light of a very serious problem. Iām simply trying to make a point. Mental health professionals who claim to be qualified to treat victims of narcissistic abuse, but are very much unqualified, do even more damage to victims!!
Some type of reform needs to be enacted in order to stop this problem from continuing. As an Author on Quora, Iāve had the enormous privilege of communicating with survivors from around the world.
Narcissistic Abuse knows no race, religion, social status, gender, or nationality. It affects people from all walks of life. Youād think that alone would be reason enough for countries to get serious about combating this epidemic.
With the exception of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, most countries leave it to survivors to spread awareness. Thanks to their progressive leader, the people of Saudi Arabia have access to as much information about narcissists as I can throw their way.
Obviously knowledge alone is not enough. Until the leaders of every country in the world realize the importance of addressing this epidemic, victims will continue to suffer.
How Hard Is It Really To Go No Contact?
It’s very hard to go No Contact once your relationship with a narcissist ends. But it is very much worth it for many reasons. Not the least of which is saving your health, sanity, and possibly your life.
The longer you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, the harder it is to maintain absolutely no contact. However, it’s no more difficult than continuing to live in hell.
Plus, you have everything to gain by enduring the inevitable pain, confusion, sadness, and heartache that you face. Staying in the relationship is guaranteed to bring nothing but more pain and loss.
By knowing in advance that you will have to be stronger than you’ve ever been to get through the initial torture of No Contact, you can prepare yourself mentally. I recommend educating yourself as much as possible about the initial withdrawal that you will face.
Since you have been conditioned to walk on eggshells around the narcissist, your body adapted by producing more cortisol. This is the hormone triggered by stress. Constantly being in fight-or-flight mode is the reason for this happening.
You’ve also become addicted to the mean-sweet cycle that has been a way of life with the narcissist. Your mind will play tricks on you. You will vacillate between hating the narc and missing him desperately.
You may start to think things weren’t so bad and want to return to what is familiar to you. Don’t let that happen!! If you leave and then return, the nightmare gets much worse.
The narcissist will punish you for daring to leave.
Why Won’t A Narcissist Have A Conversation About What The Connection With The Person He Triangulated Me With Meant To Him? It’s An Easy Way To Get Rid Of Me. Does It Mean He Loves Her?
Because he’s able to torture you effortlessly by not telling you what you want to know. And because he’s not ready to get rid of you.
He’s having too much fun seeing what you’re doing to yourself. It makes him feel powerful to control your feelings. It proves his superiority. You are giving him premium supply by tearing yourself apart.
Besides, he is either still seeing the person he triangulated you with, or has moved on to the next person he’s planning to torture you with.
It won’t matter who the person is, male or female, a narcissist is not capable of love. Their brains never formed the capability. Sadly, that includes you.
Instagram Post By: š¹Serena Princeš¹Posh Ambassador (serenaprince375)
*Authorās Note: This is a condensed version of one of my Instagram posts about the famous āCircusworthy Stuntsā answer from Quora.
#circusworthystunts is now a popular hashtag on Instagram and Twitter.
In Keeping With The Whole Circusworthy Stunts Theme, I Thought This Picture Was Appropriate.
Ok, Here’s The Question For Today’s Lesson On Those Pesky Narcissists: Will A Narcissist Discard His New Supply If He Feels His Old Supply Was A Better Lover In The Bedroom?
And My Answer: What Iām about to say is going to be brutally honest, but please know it is not my intent to cause you more pain. It wonāt matter if you turned cartwheels in bed for him and performed circusworthy stunts.
Heās probably told you that youāre the best thing in bed heās ever had, and the new supply canāt even give a blow job. Whatever he told you is the same thing heās telling all the others.
Lies. All lies. He may return to you again for sex. But heāll never be faithful to anyone. He wasnāt faithful to you throughout your relationship, whether you knew it or not.
What Are Some Tactics Of A Covert Narcissist That Go Undetected?
Hereās one example:
Youāve been looking forward to seeing an old high school friend who is in town on business. All week, the two of you gabbed on the phone about old times, and made plans to have a Girlās Night Out.
You wake up that morning to someone ringing the doorbell nonstop, which immediately makes you both angry and jumpy. When you get to the door you are furious when you see itās the Covert Narcissist.
He had been aware of your plans all week, and knew you were really looking forward to spending time with your friend. So why was he at your door?
Especially after you told him the night before that you wouldnāt be able to see him today. Reluctantly, you open the door and he steps inside.
Youāre thinking he must have a specific reason for being there so you impatiently wait for him to enlighten you. Instead, he plops down on your sofa, picks up the remote control, and begins to channel-surf.
Annoyed, you retreat to your bedroom and continue to get ready for your upcoming visit. A few minutes later, you hear noises from the living room that sound like movement, which you assume is the narc making himself at home.
A figure suddenly appears in your peripheral vision and you see the narc hovering over you. He announces that he has to get going and will be in an area with bad cell phone reception.
Surprised and relieved, you wonder why the hell he even came by at all. Shortly after the narc leaves, you realize that you havenāt seen your phone in a while.
As you begin to look for your cell, you notice a stain on the new dress you bought for this night. A stain that wasnāt there earlier.
Becoming more and more agitated, you resume the search for your missing phone. After failing to locate the phone inside the house, you wonder if somehow you left it in the car.
When you look in the same spot where you always hang your keys, youāre baffled to find that theyāre not there. Now you have no phone, so you canāt call your friend. You have no keys, so you canāt go anywhere.
Youāre pissed about the dress, but you have more to focus on now. Now what?
You still canāt make a call. You still canāt go anywhere. Your only neighbor is out of town for a wedding. Youāre stuck.
You spend the rest of the day fuming. You tear your house apart several times looking for your phone and keys, but find neither. You feel terrible about standing your friend up. Youāre so frustrated you want to cry.
Miserable, you spend a restless night, tossing and turning in bed. Once again the next morning, the annoying sound of the doorbell ringing nonstop awakens you.
Once again, the Covert Narcissist is at your door. This morning, though, heās smiling as he hands you both your phone and keys. And tells you he just found them both on the hood of your car.
Let Us Know What You Thought About The Sample Of āWhat You Need To Know About Narcissists.ā
About The Author
Serena Prince
Serena Prince is a Writer/Blogger, Digital Content Creator, Humorist, and Social Media Influencer. As a Quora Author, she answers questions on topics like Narcissists, Personality Disorders, and Understanding Human Behavior.
A Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse, Serena is now an Advocate for victims. She has studied the topic extensively and established herself as an authority on Narcissists and Narcissistic Abuse. She writes regularly about her personal experiences with the hope of Raising Awareness and Understanding.
She is the Founder/CEO of Serena Prince-375 Media, and lives in Louisiana with her son, Colton.