I Know How Murder Victims Feel Before They Die

I can still hear the excitement in my husband’s voice, telling me his plans for that day. His gun was holstered on his hip, and he was holding a large machete, hand-crafted for me. Or more specifically, for my death.

“Are you listening to me, bitch? I’m going to kill you today. But I’m not doing it here. You know that field by the lake in Mer Rouge?

A Time To Kill

I’m taking you there, and I’m going to blow your pretty little head off. Then I’m going to cut your body up and feed you to the fish.”


I was on the floor, hands tied behind my back, dazed from a blow to the head. His fist came out of nowhere, knocking me out cold.

Before that, we were getting along fine, and I was struggling to comprehend what was happening.

“Let’s go. I’ve waited a long time for this,” he said, as he snatched me up by the hair. He dragged me through the house, kicking and screaming.

Without the use of my arms, I knew I didn’t stand a chance, but I wasn’t about to make it any easier for him.

Once he got me outside, he forced me into the back seat of my SUV. Then he smashed his fist into my head, and once again, rendered me unconscious.

A Nightmare That Won’t Wake

“Wake up and listen to me, Serena.This truck is mine now, since you’re about to be dead, so I really don’t want to shoot you in here. But I will, if you try to do something stupid.

You better think about Colton. Remember, I’ll be the one taking him to school from now on. You don’t want him seeing your blood and brains splattered everywhere, do you?

So just stay still and be a good girl. Now is probably a good time to start saying your prayers.”

Never in my life had I been so afraid. My teeth chattered, and my body trembled uncontrollably. Paralyzed by fear, I took his advice and began to pray.

A Conversation With Satan

“Hey Serena, do you remember those big turtles I showed you, last time we were at the lake?

I’m feeding you to them. Won’t be anything left, either. Cause if the turtles miss anything, the fish’ll get it.

Do you know what I mean? The turtles and fish are gonna eat you, and I’m gonna eat them. It’s like I’m eating you myself. What do you think about that? It’s funny, isn’t it?”

He said these things as if we were having a casual conversation. His jovial tone made the words even more chilling, and I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.


I was devastated for my son, Colton. He’s autistic, and very dependent on me. My death would be so hard for him.

And I thought about my daughter, Savannah, who died at birth. At least I was finally going to meet her. It was ironic that I had to die to get away from the devil.

“Are you scared? You should be. I know I told you to pray, but it won’t do any good.

God’s not listening to you. He already knows you’re going straight to hell. When you get there, tell your momma I said hi.”

That day still haunts me sometimes. What saved my life was his desire not to go to jail for kidnapping and murder. Driving to the lake, he remembered the security cameras I’d gotten installed. 

It had briefly crossed my mind, but I assumed he turned them off before throwing the first punch.Thank God, I was wrong.



October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

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