Quora Answers: Narcissists And Control
Are Narcissists Obsessed With You?
No, but they make you think they are right from the beginning.
During the lovebombing stage, they seem to consume your entire life.
They want to be with you all the time.
And when they’re not with you, they keep in contact with you enough that they never leave your mind.
They appear to love and desire you so much that your empathetic nature responds in kind.
You begin to love and desire them.
You want to spend all your time with them.
Before you know it, you’ve become obsessed with them.
Which is what they wanted all along. Narcissists aren’t obsessed with you. They’re obsessed with control.
The easiest way to control someone is to make them vulnerable.
Being in love makes a person vulnerable, and therefore, easier for the narcissist to control.
If you catch on to their lies and deceit and try to leave them, and they know they’re losing control of you, it’ll again appear that they’re obsessed with you.
The obsession is with regaining control of you.
The harder it is for them to do, the more efforts they have to put forth, and the time it takes to achieve their goal, will create another type of obsession for the narcissist.
Again, it’s not with you.
But getting revenge on you.
For daring to leave them and take away their control.
The obsession for exacting revenge by destroying you will consume them.
They’ll go to great lengths to achieve their goal.
And be relentless in seeking your demise.
It’ll definitely appear throughout your relationship with a narcissist that they’re obsessed with you.
But it’s never the person.
The obsession will always be with control. Who they control is just logistics.
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Originally Answered On Quora.