Quora Answers: Narcissists And Smear Campaigns
When A Narcissist Slanders Someone, Is It Because Of Envy?
A Narcissist begins what’s known as a smear campaign against a victim long before the target becomes aware of it.
It’s for future damage control.
So he can control the amount of damage he’s able to inflict on the unsuspecting victim.
Granted, a narcissist will slander anyone.
And yes envy – of normal people with normal emotions – is something that lives within a narcissist.
Though it’s mostly subconscious.
But that’s not the reason for the smear campaign.
In a relationship with a narcissist, there are three stages:
1.) Idealization (lovebombing); 2.)Devaluation; 3.) Discard.
The smear campaign actually begins during Idealization.
The narcissist is setting a trap for the ending of the relationship.
To cause more damage to the victim during the Discard stage.
And as a tool to use when he’s grooming his next target.
In the early days of a relationship with a narcissist, you are happy.
You tell everyone how wonderful he is.
You brag about his greatness to your family and friends.
How he treats you like a queen. Everything is fabulous.
When the inevitable devaluation begins, you desperately try to bring back the glory of the early days.
You believe if you try hard enough, you can restore the bliss.
So you don’t tell anybody that Mr. Wonderful has been treating you like shit.
You don’t yet know the relationship is going to end.
And you don’t want people thinking bad about the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with.
So you suffer in silence.
You tell no one about the mind games and the sickening triangulation.
When it gets to be overwhelming, especially since the narcissist seems to be avoiding you, you finally react.
You send angry text messages demanding answers.
You complain about the awful way he’s treating you.
When he doesn’t respond, you fire off some even angrier messages.
Then he uses those messages to prove to people that you’re unstable and jealous.
You are now the crazy ex to his latest target.
The one he’s in the process of grooming as your replacement.
And though he’s still living with you, she doesn’t know that.
When the narcissist does discard you, no one blames him.
Because he’s already shown that you’re crazy and difficult.
Now you’re alone, heartbroken, and miserable.
You need to talk to someone about what you went through.
So you try to tell people about the horrible way he really treated you.
And nobody believes you.
Because you fell into his trap.
While he’s freely showing off his new girlfriend, you look like a bitter woman scorned.
People see you as being vindictive
You can’t take rejection. So you started negative rumors about him.
After all, you’re the one who told everyone for months how great he was.
Originally Answered On Quora.
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