Quora Answers: Gray Rock Or No Contact?



Is It Better To Ignore The Narcissist Or Use The Gray Rock Method? Or Is That Essentially The Same Thing?


If your intention is to heal from the emotional abuse you suffered at the hands of a narcissist, the absolute most effective method is No Contact.

Going completely without any communication or interaction is the only way you’ll ever successfully recover.

If you share a child with a narcissist, it may be more difficult to be 100% incommunicado due to custody issues.

However, if the narcissist is abusive or apathetic to the child, grab your baby and make your escape.

Then run for freedom as fast as you can.

When you still live with the narcissist, obviously No Contact isn’t possible.

Sometimes circumstances force you to maintain limited contact with the narcissist.

The gray rock method is intended for those situations.

It’s not meant as a method to heal from the abuse.

The intention is to prevent further abuse.

The strategy with gray rock is to avoid emotional responses when the narcissist tries to provoke you.

The thrill for him, and the reason for the provocation, is his own entertainment.

Narcissists thrive on eliciting emotions from their victims.

Creating chaos and drama for others is great fun to them.

It’s one of the ways they get narcissistic supply.

The attention they seek doesn’t need to be from positive and loving emotional responses.

Negative reactions from others are especially exciting for them.

The theory with gray rock is not to give any emotional reaction.

And therefore, to be as boring as a gray rock to the narcissist.

Supposedly, if you no longer provide fuel, the narc will go elsewhere to obtain narcissistic supply.

I personally don’t think gray rock is effective.

And don’t recommend it.

Why?

When I tried it with my Malignant Narcissist Ex-husband, it backfired on me.

But in the interest of giving you a thorough answer, I wanted to at least give you an explanation of the method.

Now you know your options.

For your sake, I hope you choose No Contact.


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Originally Answered On Quora.

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