Quora Answers: Control–The Malignant Narcissist’s Weapon Of Choice
Is A Malignant Narcissist‘s Biggest Weapon Having Us Believe That We Have No Control?
In my case it was.
After years of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse, my Malignant Narcissist ex-husband wore me down to just a shell of my former self.
By making me feel powerless to change my situation, and without any control over my circumstances, I became easier to abuse.
The fear of not being able to stop him from abusing me drove me to always try to meet his ridiculous demands.
No matter what I had to do to accomplish the impossible, I was willing to do it.
The fear of what he would do to me if I failed was a powerful motivator.
I didn’t even have control of my own thoughts.
Everything I did was in anticipation of how he might react.
If I wanted to go visit my family, I asked myself if he would get mad.
If there was even the slightest chance of displeasing him, I opted not to see them.
His control over me, and my feelings of helplessness, definitely became a powerful weapon for him.
He used it often.
And without mercy.
Leaving him and going No Contact was the only way I was able to regain control of my life, thoughts, and behaviors.
It was my only chance to successfully disarm him and take away his power.
Thank God it worked.
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Originally Answered On Quora.
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