Quora Answers: Narcissistic Relationships
Why Did I Ignore The Signs That He Was A Narcissist And Get Into A Relationship With Him Anyway?
Most likely, for the same reason I did.
You probably had no idea what kind of hell was in store for you.
How could you have known?
Normal people simply don’t think about choosing a victim to fuck over in every possible way.
It would have been inconceivable to you in the beginning that the person who mirrored your best traits was actually the devil in disguise.
In hindsight, I can recall warning signs that I ignored.
But I used to try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Especially if I cared deeply for them.
Narcissists create an attachment with their victims quickly during the lovebombing stage.
For them, it’s a manufactured bond.
For you and me, it was real.
We were in love and warning signs weren’t really proof of anything.
Or so we told ourselves.
Most likely you ignored your instincts because the benefit of being in love was worth the risk that your gut was wrong.
Every single person who became entangled with a narcissist did the same thing.
Now you are aware that narcissists destroy lives and spirits.
Hopefully you will be better able to acknowledge any warning signs that arise with any new relationship.
Just make sure not to ever ignore your instincts again.
With that said, I should warn you about the possibility of becoming too cautious.
There’s a fine line between wanting to protect your feelings and alienating someone who means you no harm.
After all the hell I had been through during my marriage to a Malignant Narcissist, I was terrified of getting hurt again.
I’m now engaged to a wonderful man. Ironically, I was suspicious of his motives for a long time. Because he seemed to me to be too wonderful.
A real-life Prince Charming.
The problem for me was that I no longer believed in fairy tales. And he was just too good to be true.
Fortunately, he understood my fears. He knew what I’d been through and was very patient with me.
But in all honesty, I gave him hell.
It’s very hard to open yourself up again after a narcissistic relationship.
Even if you want to trust your partner, seeds of doubt still grow.
You just have to learn to find the right balance between the past and the future.
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