Quora Answers: Devaluation




Does A Narcissist Enjoy When They Start To Devalue A Partner Because It Makes Them Feel Less Vulnerable?


Absolutely. A narcissist definitely enjoys devaluing their partner.

Whether it’s because it makes them feel less vulnerable or simply because they’re sadistic assholes depends on their mood at the time, I suppose.

They had to work during the lovebombing stage. The devaluation is when they get to have fun.

Almost everything a narcissist does is to make them feel less vulnerable.

It’s ingrained in their subconscious.

It’s why they lie about who they are, how they truly feel, and everything else that spews from their mouths.

I was married to a Malignant Narcissist for 18 years.

It became painfully obvious to me toward the end of our marriage that he loved to cause me pain.

Whether it was from his words or physical blows.

He took sadistic pleasure in creating confusion and chaos in my mind.

He wanted me to think I was the crazy one. After all, he had gone to a lot of effort to make it seem that way to our friends and family.

He wasn’t about to stop with other people, though.

He had to convince me too.

And he came very close to succeeding.

When he no longer hid his contempt and hatred from me, I was blindsided by the intensity of his resentment.

He would look at me with such an evil expression on his face.

And his eyes seemed to dance with glee when he told me I should do the world a favor and just kill myself.

Narcissists are forced to endure the lovebombing stage, which requires patience and effort on their part.

They do it because they know they’ll get to tear their victims down during the devaluation phase, one of their favorite pastimes.


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