Quora Answers: Narcissists
There are various different terms being used these days to describe certain behaviors by narcissists.
There’s “ghosting,” “discarding,” “hoovering,” “love-bombing,” etc.
These words have become commonplace, especially in the survivor communities.
But it occurred to me that people who are just discovering the realities of life with a narcissist may get a little confused as to their meanings.
I’ll try to explain what happens when a narcissist “discards” someone, but doesn’t leave.
A narcissist has a full arsenal of tactics to use in order to cause as much chaos, grief, and pain as possible for those closest to him.
If you suspect that your narcissist discarded you. But most of his personal items remain behind, your narcissist may be “ghosting” you.
What this means is that he has basically disappeared from the face of the earth.
And is completely incommunicado.
At least for you, anyway.
Most likely, he is off somewhere with another source of supply at this time.
This serves two purposes for a narcissist.
For one, he’s able to groom his next target, without any interference from you.
Secondly, he is teaching you to accept his unacceptable behavior.
At some point, the narc will return to you. With absolutely no explanation as to his whereabouts.
He will act as if he had never been gone.
And he’ll expect you to do the same.
A narcissist may also actively “ghost” you and still remain in the home.
You will be subjected to silent treatments that could last for any length of time.
Anywhere from hours to days.
This is especially frustrating when you need to talk about everyday problems and issues.
And he acts as though you don’t even exist.
This is another way of teaching you to accept his bad behavior.
No matter what words you use to describe a narcissist’s bad behavior, this kind of treatment is always unacceptable.
The sooner you learn that it will always be this way.
And that if you remain entwined with a narcissist, you’ll never find peace or happiness, the better off you will be.
Nothing good ever comes from being in a relationship with a narcissist.
Originally Answered On Quora.
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