Quora Answers: Narcissistic Relationships
How Can I Avoid Being Tricked Into Another Relationship With A Narcissist?
First of all, know that as you begin to recover from a relationship with a narcissist, you have been wounded.
And your soul is bleeding.
It’s a wound like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.
It’s no wonder you don’t want to go through it again.
And it’s also completely natural to want to find comfort.
You’ve had to bottle up your emotions for so long that you want to talk about it now.
You need to talk about it now.
Unfortunately, being free from the narcissist doesn’t mean you’re free from the indelible mark that he left on you.
As someone who has suffered at the hands of a narcissist, you’ve been imprinted with an invisible mark.
It acts almost like a mating call for toxic people.
Therapists recommend, that in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse, it’s best not to form new friendships or relationships for a minimum of several months after the relationship ended.
The reason for this is because you are vulnerable.
You feel the need to talk about what you’ve been through.
So you may be tempted to talk to anybody who will listen.
The problem with this is you probably won’t be able to recognize all the wolves in sheep’s clothing who are waiting to prey on you.
You’ve already been conditioned to accept abuse.
And predators will want to make you their victim now.
Toxic people will sense your vulnerability.
It’s not a matter of if another narcissist will target you, but when.
The best way to know when you’re ready to start spreading your wings is when you no longer feel the necessity to constantly talk about your abuser or the abuse.
So in the meantime, protect yourself.
Only associate with those closest to you who you know are trustworthy.
Don’t set yourself up for failure because you need to vent.
Find a therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse, and talk to him or her.
Don’t talk to the seemingly nice, kind of cute guy in the coffee shop.
The one who you’ve seen around but don’t really know.
Don’t be tempted to pour your heart out to a stranger. Period.
During this self-imposed isolation, educate yourself on the tactics of toxic people.
Arm yourself with knowledge so you will know what signs to look for when you again face the world and rebuild your life.
There are tons of great books out there.
And of course, Quora is an excellent resource.
Take advantage of the experiences and stories that other survivors offer.
Join an online survivor’s community.
You’ll find plenty of people who have been through the same thing as you.
And who are willing to listen and provide insight.
Lastly, be kind to yourself.
Find out who you are and learn to love that person.
Learn to protect that person at all costs.
And never let anyone tear you apart again.
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Originally Answered On Quora.
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