Quora Answers: Are All Narcissists Cheaters?

What’s The Difference Between Someone Who’s Just A Cheater Than Someone Who Is Genuinely A Narcissist?

While all narcissists are cheaters, all cheaters are not narcissists. I’ll try to explain the difference.

Narcissists cheat because they’re constantly in search of adoration and admiration from as many sources as possible.

They require it almost as much as oxygen. They also cheat because they enjoy the thrill of duping their partners.

They feel entitled to the praise and admiration they seek from multiple sources. And fidelity is not something they feel obligated to practice, though they expect their partners to remain monogamous.

They do not admit to their liaisons, of course, and are able to lie convincingly to each source about their faithfulness.

The biggest difference in someone who is just a cheater and a narcissist is that the narcissist sets out to destroy the very sources he expects admiration and praise from.

There are three distinct phases in a relationship with a narcissist: lovebombing, devaluation, and discard.

During the lovebombing phase, the narcissist convinces his newest source that they are soulmates. They have so much in common that their relationship is meant to be.

They sweep their victims off their feet, and make them feel like the most special person in the world.

Once the relationship has progressed enough that the narcissist feels confident that he “has” the victim, the devaluation phase begins.

This is when everything he once professed to love about the victim suddenly becomes a glaring fault. The source will be subjected to cruel comments, constant criticism, and outright abuse.

Once the narcissist feels like he has succeeded in destroying the victim’s self-esteem, happiness, peace, and joy, he will abruptly discard her, with no warning.

She will be devastated by the cruelty, and the narcissist will feel satisfaction from the pain he has inflicted on her.

Then the narcissist quickly enters into another relationship and parades his latest conquest on social media.

He does this in order to maximize the pain of his most recently discarded.

And he enjoys every second of the pain he is inflicting.

An average cheater doesn’t feel satisfaction at causing his partner pain. He doesn’t set out to destroy her emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

This is always the goal of a narcissist, and he feels no remorse or empathy for his victims.

Spouses who cheat, but are not narcissistic, do not gain pleasure from deceiving their partner.

Quite the contrary, they feel guilty and remorseful.

A narcissist will never feel these emotions.

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