During the first days and weeks of no contact, I vacillated between hoping my Malignant Narcissist husband would drop off the face of the earth, and yearning to see him again.
There were times I missed him desperately, though why I couldn’t tell you. He certainly wasn’t worth missing.
Still, I missed being in his arms, and I missed the way we used to laugh together. Those times were painfully hard to overcome, and I came very close to breaking no contact on more than one occasion.
I knew I needed a tried and true method of stopping any positive thoughts of him that I might have before they could tempt me again. I have always been a voracious reader, which was especially true in the first weeks after going no contact.
One of the books I read was “Psychopath Free” by Jackson Mackenzie.
There is a passage at the beginning of the book that made me shiver when I read it.
For some reason, the author’s words caused something in my brain to click. An aha moment, if you will.
It was obviously what I needed because I was different after that. I no longer had any desire to call the narc.
Finally I had faced the cold reality that my entire marriage had been nothing but a sham.
And that the man I once loved didn’t exist.
Page 54, “Psychopath Free” by Jackson Mackenzie:
THE PSYCHOPATH TRAINS YOU TO BECOME THE PERFECT PARTNER.
IN A MATTER OF WEEKS, THEY TAKE OVER YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, CONSUMING YOUR MIND AND BODY WITH UNRIVALED PLEASURE.
ULTIMATELY, YOU ARE TO BECOME THEIR NEWEST SOURCE OF ENDLESS ADORATION AND PRAISE—BUT FIRST, YOU MUST FALL IN LOVE.
THEN YOUR HEART WILL BE OPEN TO THEIR EVERY SUGGESTION.
THERE ARE THREE KEY COMPONENTS TO THIS PROCESS: IDEALIZATION, INDIRECT PERSUASION, AND TESTING THE WATERS.
THE IDEALIZATION PHASE IN A PSYCHOPATHIC RELATIONSHIP WILL BE UNLIKE ANYTHING YOU’VE EVER EXPERIENCED.
YOU WILL BE SWEPT OFF YOUR FEET, LOST IN A PASSIONATE FANTASY WITH SOMEONE WHO EXCITES YOU ON EVERY LEVEL: EMOTIONALLY, SPIRITUALLY, AND SEXUALLY.
THEY WILL BE THE FIRST THING ON YOUR MIND WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, WAITING FOR THEIR CHEERFUL, FUNNY TEXTS TO START YOUR DAY.
YOU WILL QUICKLY FIND YOURSELF PLANNING A FUTURE WITH THEM—FORGETTING ABOUT THE DULL REALITIES OF LIFE.
NONE OF THAT MATTERS ANYMORE. THEY’RE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH.
WHILE ALL OF THIS IS GOING ON IN YOUR HEART, THEIR THOUGHTS ARE OCCUPIED BY SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY:
“GOOD. IT’S WORKING.”
Originally Answered by Serena Prince on Quora.
To Read My Answers on Quora: https://quora.com/profile/Serena-Prince-2.